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At the present, on Tv there are different famous talent shows. People saw them for finding talented people or for just enjoying. What are your opinions?

At the present, on Tv there are different famous talent shows. People saw them for finding talented people or for just enjoying. What are your opinions? R0rPV
At the present, on TV there are different famous talent shows. People watch them for finding talented people or for just entertainment. That kind of programmes help to find talented and gifted people. The people with talents come to the shows to show off their abilities, for instance, dancing, singing, cooking or doing extraordinary tricks. Furthermore, the talent shows give excellent opportunities: participants may be well-known and they could win a lot of money or extremely valuable presents that are given by organizers. Moreover, in my prospective, talent programmes try to attract more viewers. For instance, there is atalent show named 'America's got talent' shows the people fulfilling strange functions, that kind of shows have more viewers. Other talent shows that based on singing or dancing have less viewers. Because not all people intrigued by art. I can conclude that TV talent shows are an effective way to look for people with natural abilities. And plus they are organized for amusement.
At the present, on TV there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them for finding talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
entertainment. That kind of
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to find talented and gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
off their abilities,
for instance
, dancing, singing, cooking or doing extraordinary tricks.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
give excellent opportunities: participants may be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
well-known and
they could win
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money or
extremely
valuable presents that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by organizers.
Moreover
, in my prospective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
try to attract more viewers.
For instance
, there is
Possible spelling mistake found.
atalent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
named 'America's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
talent'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fulfilling strange functions, that kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
have more viewers. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
that based on singing or dancing have
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun viewers is countable.
less
viewers.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
intrigued by art. I can conclude that TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are an effective way to look for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with natural abilities. And plus they
are organized
for amusement.
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IELTS essay At the present, on Tv there are different famous talent shows. People saw them for finding talented people or for just enjoying. What are your opinions?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
161 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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