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At MIT, we bring people together to better the lives of others. MIT students work to improve their communities in different ways, from tackling the world’s biggest challenges to being a good friend. Describe one way in which you have contributed to your community, whether in your family, the classroom, your neighborhood, etc. (200–250 words)

At MIT, we bring people together to better the lives of others. MIT students work to improve their communities in different ways, from tackling the world’s biggest challenges to being a good friend. Describe one way in which you have contributed to your community, whether in your family, the classroom, your neighborhood, etc. (200–250 words) eeGJV
For some students, calculus is a hard section of mathematics. My teacher effectively taught us might be some students became confused and couldn’t solve questions. I pointed out some common issues and started working on them. I'd made different groups helped them along with my teacher. I shared my strategies and my materials with them which I used while studying. Slowly, they started to come over their problems. I felt happy that I could help them. In my neighborhood, rural people don't have money to give better education to their children, I give them my books which help to study for a bright future, and give them free education. Perhaps, they can become a better person in life to change society with new ideas. Occasionally
For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students, calculus is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
section of mathematics. My teacher
effectively
taught us might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students became confused and couldn’t solve questions. I pointed out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
common issues and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
working on them. I'd made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them along with my teacher.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
shared my strategies and my materials with them which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
while studying.
Slowly
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
over their problems. I felt happy that I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them.

In my neighborhood, rural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don't have money to give better education to their children, I give them my books which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to study for a bright future, and give them free education. Perhaps, they can become a better person in life to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
society with new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

Occasionally

IELTS essay At MIT, we bring people together to better the lives of others. MIT students work to improve their communities in different ways, from tackling the world’s biggest challenges to being a good friend. Describe one way in which you have contributed to your community, whether in your family, the classroom, your neighborhood, etc. (200–250 words)

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
124 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • At MIT, we bring people together to better the lives of others. MIT students work to improve their communities in different ways, from tackling the world’s biggest challenges to being a good friend. Describe one way in which you have contributed to your community, whether in your family, the classroom, your neighborhood, etc. (200–250 words)