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The major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problems.

The major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problems. Q53Ox
By capitalism, the economic system pushes people to compete with each other to be successful in industries that are usually located in urban areas. Toxic environment is increasing as a population in cities. That might become a long term health effect to young people. Firstly, Public transportation does not cover all the living areas. In Bangkok, In some living zones people have to transfer more than three times to go to work or school. For this reason they might choose to buy their own car or motorbike for saving time and comfort. Of course, traffic congestion causes toxic pollution in the air and everyone breathes it into their lungs. Secondly, large industrial factories nearby the cities, chemical poison in water and pollution in the air. Additionally, the city's dwellers might be forced to live in a toxic climate without having safe water and sanitation facilities. On the other hand, the Thai government designed to expand more public transportation such as railways, subway, boats and buses. Eventually, this could reduce personal vehicles in rush hour. Moreover, they plan to relocate factories out of the cities and place them in a new economic industry space that is far from the urban zone. This gradually led the crow to move to a new location as an alternative choice of new field of living. To conclude with, due to a high volume of population a younger generation grows up in an unhealthy environment that potency affects their health. If the government supports public transportation or alternative choice of eco-friendly vehicles, it might resolve an overcrowded living space and reduce pollution problems.
By capitalism, the economic system pushes
people
to compete with each other to be successful in industries that are
usually
located in urban areas. Toxic environment is increasing as a population in cities. That
might
become a long term health effect to young
people
.

Firstly
, Public transportation does not cover all the living areas. In Bangkok, In
some
living zones
people
have to
transfer more than three times to go to work or school.
For this reason
they
might
choose to
buy
their
own
car or motorbike for saving time and comfort.
Of course
, traffic congestion causes toxic pollution in the air and everyone breathes it into their lungs.
Secondly
, large industrial factories nearby the cities, chemical poison in water and pollution in the air.
Additionally
, the city's dwellers
might
be forced
to
live
in a toxic climate without having safe water and sanitation facilities.

On the other hand
, the Thai
government
designed to expand more public transportation such as railways, subway, boats and buses.
Eventually
, this could
reduce
personal vehicles in rush hour.
Moreover
, they plan to relocate factories out of the cities and place them in a new economic industry space
that is
far from the urban zone. This
gradually
led the crow to
move
to a new location as an alternative choice of new field of living.

To conclude
with, due to a high volume of population a younger generation grows up in an unhealthy environment that potency affects their health. If the
government
supports public transportation or alternative choice of eco-friendly vehicles, it
might
resolve an overcrowded living space and
reduce
pollution problems.
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IELTS essay The major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problems.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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