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As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. BJYem
The idea that, besides earning money, businesses should also have social responsibilities remains a source of controversy. Nevertheless, I do agree that although earning money is the top priority of companies, they should also conduct their businesses in a socially responsible manner. On the one hand, there are some reasons why generating profit is of paramount importance to companies. First, by earning more money, companies would be able to bear the burden of monthly running costs like staff salaries and rent, which is a matter of survival in an increasingly competitive market. This means that if they had the capital to maintain and expand their operations, they could create more job opportunities for the people living in the community. Second, the higher the profits earned by enterprises, the more taxes they pay to the government. As a result, the authorities would have more revenue to spend on various sectors, including education and healthcare, which leads to an improvement in the quality of life in society. On the other hand, enterprises should also have social responsibilities. In terms of the environment, many firms, especially in manufacturing industries, need to be aware of the pollution caused by their processes and waste products, including those that contribute to global warming. Companies, therefore, are required to dispose of waste, especially chemical by-products, in a socially responsible and environmentally friendly manner. With regard to social activities, large corporations should pay back into the community and people through sponsorship of charity and social programs. Microsoft Corporation, for instance, spends millions of dollars annually to offer food and other necessities for needy children all around the world, which ensures an acceptable standard of living for them. In conclusion, while earning money is an integral objective of companies, social responsibilities towards the environment and local communities are important as well.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that,
besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, businesses should
also
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
responsibilities remains a source of controversy.
Nevertheless
, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the top priority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, they should
also
conduct their businesses in a
socially
responsible manner.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why generating profit is of paramount importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
First
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
would be able to bear the burden of monthly running costs like staff salaries and rent, which is a matter of survival in an
increasingly
competitive market. This means that if they had the capital to maintain and expand their operations, they could create more job opportunities for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in the community. Second, the higher the profits earned by enterprises, the more taxes they pay to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
As a result
, the authorities would have more revenue to spend on various sectors, including education and healthcare, which leads to an improvement in the quality of life in society.

On the other hand
, enterprises should
also
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
responsibilities. In terms of the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
firms,
especially
in manufacturing industries, need to be aware of the pollution caused by their processes and waste products, including those that contribute to global warming.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
,
therefore
,
are required
to dispose of waste,
especially
chemical by-products, in a
socially
responsible and
environmentally
friendly manner. With regard to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
activities, large corporations should pay back into the community and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
through sponsorship of charity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
programs. Microsoft Corporation,
for instance
, spends millions of dollars
annually
to offer food and other necessities for needy children all around the world, which ensures an acceptable standard of living for them.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is an integral objective of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
responsibilities towards the environment and local communities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as well
.
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IELTS essay As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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