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As transportation and accommodation problem is increasing in many large cities.some government encourage the businesses to move from cities to rural areas.does the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages

• It has been universally acknowleged that the knot of transportation and accommodation in big metropolitan centers is mushrooming day by day. some authorities stimulates the businesses to move from cities to country side. In my perspective, the merits of this development outweigh the demerits • To begin with, there are myraid advantages of this trend. Firstly, this practice burgeoning the employment opportunities in rural areas, because of this, folks will able to provide the food and shelter to their near and dears. To exemplify, in China, officials fosters the businesses to move from cities to rural areas. Therefore, the unemployment rate in China declined sharply. Apart from this, people can learn the many valuable skills because of this practice and it will lead to their career growth. • In addition to this, individuals will get the relief from hustle and bustle of city life. They will easily find the public transportation in cities to reach their destination. As a result, they do not face any difficulty in finding the accommodation and transportation in cities. To illustrate, officals who implemented this practice in thier nation provide a sigh of relief to their citizens. However, knot associated with this development cannot be overlooked. First of all, only businesses are not responsible for enhancing the transportation and accommodation problem in cities. There are also other factors which are contributing to this problem such as overpopulation and less public facilities bestowed by the government. In conclusion, although this trend has more benefits, the demerits of this development cannot be neglected. Unless government will not expand their basic amenities, the problem will not eradicate.
• It has been
universally
Possible spelling mistake found.
acknowleged
that the knot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and accommodation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
metropolitan centers is mushrooming day by day.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
some
authorities
You should probably use “stimulate”.
stimulates
the businesses to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This word is normally spelled as one.
country side
. In my perspective, the merits of this development outweigh the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
demerits


• To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
myraid
advantages of this trend.
Firstly
, this practice burgeoning the employment opportunities in rural areas,
because of this
, folks will able to provide the food and shelter to their near and dears. To exemplify, in China, officials fosters the businesses to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to rural areas.
Therefore
, the unemployment rate in China declined
sharply
. Apart from this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can learn the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
because of this
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
practice and
it will lead to their career growth.

•
In addition
to this, individuals will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the relief from hustle and bustle of city life. They will
easily
find the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to reach their destination.
As a result
, they do not face any difficulty in finding the accommodation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. To illustrate,
Possible spelling mistake found.
officals
who implemented this practice in
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
nation provide a sigh of relief to their citizens.

However
, knot associated with this development cannot
be overlooked
.
Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
businesses are not responsible for enhancing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and accommodation problem in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. There are
also
other factors which are contributing to this problem such as overpopulation and less public facilities bestowed by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

In conclusion
, although this trend has more benefits, the demerits of this development cannot
be neglected
. Unless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will not expand their basic amenities, the problem will not eradicate.

IELTS essay As transportation and accommodation problem is increasing in many large cities. some government encourage the businesses to move from cities to rural areas. does the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
270 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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