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Television has a great influence on people. What do you think?

Television has a great influence on people. What do you think? ApRVw
Television in general is one of the most important tool of our daily life now. From children to adults, every age group enjoys watching the television programmes of their interest. TV in its early days was mainly used for news broadcasting and other important awareness for the public. But now it heavily influences our lives and it almost became an addiction. In today's world, with the discovery of satellite television, almost every channel reaches our homes and we have plenty of choice. In my opinion TV plays a great role in our lives as its major source of information of happenings around the world and one has enough information about another country before they have a chance to visit the place physically. In today's household one keeps track of programmes and can record them to watch it at a later more convenient time. So TV is not only a great tool for the enhancement of knowledge on every subject but also its an entertainment package as without it life would be very dull and monotonous.
Television
in general
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tool of our daily life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. From children to adults, every age group enjoys watching the television
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
of their interest. TV in its early days was
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for news broadcasting and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
awareness for the public.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it
heavily
influences our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and it almost became an addiction.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, with the discovery of satellite television, almost every channel reaches our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
homes and
we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of choice. In my opinion TV plays a great role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as its major source of information of happenings around the world and one has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
information about another country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they have a chance to visit the place
physically
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's household one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
and can record them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
it at a later more convenient time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
TV is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a great tool for the enhancement of knowledge on every subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
an entertainment package as without it life would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dull and monotonous.
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IELTS essay Television has a great influence on people. What do you think?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
175 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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