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As the word becomes technologically advanced , computers are replacing people at more and more jobs. what are some job positions that may be lost because of computers? what are some problems that may result from this situation?

As the word becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing people at more and more jobs. what are some job positions that may be lost because of computers? what are some problems that may result from this situation? BOOw
This essay argues that because of fast growth of technology, many jobs are demolishing and instead of humans, computers doing their tasks. Some of these jobs could be for example, taxi drivers or bus drivers. In my opinion, the main problem with rapid technology enhancement is that government of different countries cannot generate new jobs with the same speed of technology acceleration to replace those jobs with new job positions. Also, it might be very costly to generate suitable platform to adopt to a new technology. I suppose, many jobs will be completely destroyed or somehow will be changed to something new in future due to technology advancement. Some of the obvious example of those job positions are like, taxi and bus driving. Nowadays, big car companies such as Ford or Tesla are trying to design autonomous vehicles which basically can drive by its own with no help of actual driver. I believe the same concept can be applied for buses. In my point of view, the major problem that computers substitution instead of human resource can cause is that governments cannot catch up with technology advancement. As a result, there will be higher probability of losing numerous job positions in near future. However, if people in power take action before it’s getting too late and think a about lowering rate of job lost by providing new jobs, can save plenty of people job positions. In addition, to that problem governments need to spend lots of money to make the infrastructure ready for autonomous cars. As an example, new roads and highways might be needed to go over some changes to become compatible with the new cars. As an example, I assume maybe these autonomous cars need wider roads to decrease rate of accidents. All in all, plenty of jobs will disappear as technology evolve but I think governments have this responsibility to create new jobs to reduce unemployment rate.
This essay argues that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are demolishing and
instead
of humans, computers doing their tasks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
could be for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, taxi drivers or bus drivers. In my opinion, the main problem with rapid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
enhancement is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries cannot generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
with the same speed of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
acceleration to replace those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
.
Also
, it might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly to generate suitable platform to
Did you mean "adapt to"?
adopt to
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology.

I suppose,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
will be completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
or somehow will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
in future due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
advancement.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
obvious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
are like, taxi and bus driving. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
such as Ford or Tesla are trying to design autonomous vehicles which
basically
can drive by its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
with no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of actual driver. I believe the same concept can
be applied
for buses.

In my point of view, the major problem that computers substitution
instead
of human resource can cause is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
cannot catch up with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
advancement.
As a result
, there will be higher probability of losing numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
in near future.
However
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in power take action
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it’s getting too late and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
about lowering rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
lost by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, can save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
.
In addition
, to that problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
need to spend lots of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the infrastructure ready for autonomous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. As an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
roads and highways might
be needed
to go over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to become compatible with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. As an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, I assume maybe these autonomous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
need wider roads to decrease rate of accidents.

All in all,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
will disappear as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
evolve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have this responsibility to create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
unemployment rate.
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IELTS essay As the word becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing people at more and more jobs. what are some job positions that may be lost because of computers? what are some problems that may result from this situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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