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As science and technology contribute most to the development of society, science students should get more financial support from government than students in other fields (eg. business, language, etc.). To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

As science and technology contribute most to the development of society, science students should get more financial support from government than students in other fields (eg. business, language, etc. ). with this statement? 6x0K8
Financial support from the government is much needed for students due to the fact that education is costlier nowadays. Although, science and technology contribute most to the development of society other fields are also equally important. So I believe, students from all subjects should get similar support from the government. Without a doubt, science and technology drive the modernization of humanity. It enhances people's lifestyle by doing life-changing innovations. For example, Internet-enabled smartphones have made our lives easier by allowing us to connect with anyone around the world from anywhere. Surely, It has made a huge impact on the development of society in terms of how we live. So, the government should encourage undergraduate to take the science domain by giving them much needed economical help. It will enable them to do more research in this specialization which can lead to the development of the civilization in future with the help of new inventions. But, at the same time, scholar learning in other domains can also help improve society. Highly skilled business executives are the need of the hour in the current world to survive and grow the economy which affects everyone in the society in one or another way. Students from the business domain can become successful entrepreneur. His business can also make difference in people's lifestyle. I can name many such startups driven by them. For instance, Big basket is an online grocery delivery startup that was started by an MBA graduate. It has made it convenient for people in India to save some time on grocery purchases in the mall. In conclusion, Financial support is essential for every student in all departments as education in each area is highly expensive and student from each specialization can help uplift society in the future.
Financial support from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
due to the fact that education is costlier nowadays. Although, science and technology contribute most to the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
other fields are
also
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I believe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from all subjects should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
similar support from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Without a doubt, science and technology drive the modernization of humanity. It enhances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's lifestyle by doing life-changing innovations.
For example
, Internet-enabled smartphones have made our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier by allowing us to connect with anyone around the world from anywhere.
Surely
, It has made a huge impact on the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in terms of how we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage undergraduate to take the science domain by giving them
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
economical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
. It will enable them to do more research in this specialization which can lead to the development of the civilization in future with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of new inventions.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, at the same time, scholar learning in other domains can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Highly
skilled business executives are the need of the hour in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world to survive and grow the economy which affects everyone in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in one or another way.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
from the business domain can become successful entrepreneur. His business can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
difference in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's lifestyle. I can name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
such startups driven by them.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
basket is an online grocery delivery startup that was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
by an MBA graduate. It has made it convenient for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in India to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time on grocery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
in the mall.

In conclusion
, Financial support is essential for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in all departments as education in each area is
highly
expensive and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
from each specialization can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
uplift
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in the future.
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IELTS essay As science and technology contribute most to the development of society, science students should get more financial support from government than students in other fields (eg. business, language, etc. ). with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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