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As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute jobs satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v.22

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute jobs satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v. 22
The human life is divided into three parts, childhood, youth and old age. Nowadays, life has become faster than before therefore, almost all people after graduation try to build their career. Definitely, adults need to have more qualifications which help them to get high powered jobs. There is a lack of opportunities so, adults spend the majority of their lives at job to get high positions and feel satisfied. As well as, appointment satisfaction is an influential tool for people luxuries. Even though, there are a lot of criteria which measure appointment satisfactions, the realistic expectations differ from someone to another. On the one hand, as I mentioned before, business satisfaction depends on many elements. Firstly, what are benefits can I get from my job? ? All people ask for the benefits when they apply for any job. For example, salary is an important factor plus a health insurance. Furthermore, holiday entitlements and working hours are effective factors of work satisfaction. Many adults live in rural and they should commit to urban where they work, therefore, an accommodation is extremely impressive factor of their job satisfactions. Secondly, one of the most important elements is the task environment. Many global companies depend on a team work so employees have to be cooperative and friendly to achieve their tasks. Thirdly, promotion is a powerful way to motivate the adults to work hard and get their appointment satisfactions. For instance, a large number of adults are ambitious and enthusiastic. What is more, they are determined and have good mental abilities to get what they want. On the other hand, the realistic expectations of job satisfactions are disappointed. Some people succeed in getting their job satisfactions by love their work and develop it. However, others just industry any job to get money, which helps them to get their needs. For example, in Egypt, we can notice that many adults task in irrelevant fields to their qualifications or their studies just because they need to money. In conclusion, we have to admire our jobs, work hard and have good qualifications. Additionally, we can improve our skills to get high powered jobs and feel satisfied.
The human life
is divided
into three parts, childhood, youth and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age. Nowadays, life has become faster than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
therefore
, almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
after graduation try to build their career. Definitely,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
need to have more qualifications which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
high powered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. There is a lack of opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
spend the majority of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high positions and feel satisfied.
As well
as, appointment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is an influential tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
luxuries.
Even though
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
criteria which measure appointment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfactions
, the realistic expectations differ from someone to another.

On the one hand, as I mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
depends on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
elements.
Firstly
, what are benefits can I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
? ? All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
the benefits when they apply for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For example
, salary is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor plus a health insurance.
Furthermore
, holiday entitlements and working hours are effective factors of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
rural and
they should commit to urban where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
therefore
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "accommodation".
an accommodation
is
extremely
impressive factor of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfactions.

Secondly
, one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
elements is the task environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
global
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
depend on a team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be cooperative and friendly to achieve their tasks.
Thirdly
, promotion is a powerful way to motivate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their appointment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfactions
.
For instance
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
are ambitious and enthusiastic.
What is more
, they
are determined
and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mental abilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what they want.

On the other hand
, the realistic expectations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfactions
are disappointed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
succeed in getting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfactions
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and develop it.
However
, others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
industry any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
money, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their needs.
For example
, in Egypt, we can notice that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
task in irrelevant fields to their qualifications or their studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need to money.

In conclusion
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admire our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
qualifications.
Additionally
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
high powered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and feel satisfied.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute jobs satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v. 22

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
359 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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