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As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v.15

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v. 15
In today’s world, people are becoming more engaged in their work. Most of the people are doing job oriented work. They spend a major part of their adult life at work without thinking about their job interest. It is also an essential for personal wellbeing. There are so many factors which affect the job performance. It is also doubted that it exists or not. Firstly, different people are working in various fields. Occupation satisfaction is different from person to person. Moreover, most of the people attract towards money without thinking about their own interest. Personal well-being is necessary for stress less life. People have to duty in their own interest because of that people are not in tension over the time. In addition, we can also say that people should perform related to their skills because it play an important factor in the happy life. Other factors like compensation, holidays also matter for performance well-being. Every employee needs the holiday to relax and spend their time with family. If there are no holidays, people are not satisfied. Furthermore, personal compensation also necessary for each worker to fulfil their dreams. In addition, outside environment also affects the performance because if people are not satisfied with the surrounding environment that can affect their occupation. On the other hand, it is evident that every person demands change over the years. Some people demand a high salary. It is not realistic for all workers. It is change over the periods. Some people attract towards the high growth and it never remains steady. To sum up, duty satisfaction depends on the worker. Some people need satisfaction and some people are never satisfied because of their demand. It can also say that it is not realistic for all employees.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming more engaged in their work. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are doing job oriented work. They spend a major part of their adult life at work without thinking about their job interest. It is
also
an essential for personal
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors which affect the job performance. It is
also
doubted that it exists or not.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are working in various fields. Occupation satisfaction is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from person to person.
Moreover
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attract towards money without thinking about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest. Personal well-being is necessary for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
less life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
duty in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not in tension over the time.
In addition
, we can
also
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should perform related to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "plays"?
play
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in the happy life. Other factors like compensation, holidays
also
matter for performance well-being. Every employee needs the holiday to relax and spend their time with family. If there are no holidays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not satisfied.
Furthermore
, personal compensation
also
necessary for each worker to fulfil their dreams.
In addition
, outside environment
also
affects the performance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not satisfied with the surrounding environment that can affect their occupation.

On the other hand
, it is evident that every person demands
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
over the years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
demand a high salary. It is not realistic for all workers. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
over the periods.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attract towards the high growth and it never remains steady.

To sum up, duty

satisfaction

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
depends
on the worker.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need satisfaction and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are never satisfied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their demand. It can
also
say that it is not realistic for all employees.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v. 15

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
293 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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