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As far as I am concerned, I feel that performing an enjoyable job is far better and is more important.

As far as I am concerned, I feel that performing an enjoyable job is far better and is more important. 0AB5B
As far as I am concerned, I feel that performing an enjoyable job is far better and is more important. I feel this way because the such job would bring more interest in us and it would lead us to a better performance and gives us happiness. First of all, doing an enjoyable job would bring more interest and alert. In other words, a profession that gives a decent income and is fun to do would always help us in giving a result a way better than the job which is boring despite its high income. For instance, last year I was working in a pharmaceutical company, and the project on which I was assigned was too boring, therefore, I was reluctant to go to the job every morning. Thus, my performance deteriorated eventually, I left the job and joined a restaurant where I have made some really good friends. Although it gives me a lesser salary yet I have so much interest and performing the job. It is more enjoyable in a way that I meet different people and learn from them. Secondly, performing a job which we like, would bring happiness and a better future. What I mean is that doing a job that we are enjoying, would bring happiness. Even if it is a simple job, if we enjoy doing it then life would be far better without work stress. For example, one of my friends, she works in a cooperate company, her job is to manage new projects and approve them all. Although she earns good money still, she is always stressed out even when she is on an outing with us, and she always talks about her jobs. I could sense the high tension and stress in her life due to her present job. A recent survey revealed that most of the stress is work-related. In conclusion, I prefer to do an enjoyable job would give a decent income rather than a boring and high salaried job because it would be more interesting to perform and because it would bring happiness and keep us away from stressed life.
As far as I
am concerned
, I feel that performing an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is far
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. I feel this way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
more interest in us and it would lead us to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
performance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
us happiness.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, doing an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
more interest and alert.
In other words
, a profession that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
a decent income and is fun to do would always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us in giving a result a way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which is boring despite its high income.
For instance
, last year I was working in a pharmaceutical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, and the project on which I
was assigned
was too boring,
therefore
, I was reluctant to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
every morning.
Thus
, my performance deteriorated
eventually
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
a restaurant where I have made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friends. Although it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
me a lesser salary
yet
I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much interest and performing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. It is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoyable
in a way that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and learn from them.

Secondly
, performing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which we like, would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
happiness and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
future. What I mean is that doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that we are enjoying, would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
happiness. Even if it is a simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, if we enjoy doing it then life would be far
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
without work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
For example
, one of my friends, she works in
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'cooperate' is correct. If 'cooperate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a cooperate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is to manage new projects and approve them all. Although she earns
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
money
still
, she is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
out even when she is on an outing with us, and she always talks about her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. I could sense the high tension and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in her life due to her present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. A recent survey revealed that most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
is work-related.

In conclusion
, I prefer to do an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a decent income
rather
than a boring and high salaried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would be more interesting to perform and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
happiness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
us away from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
life.
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IELTS essay As far as I am concerned, I feel that performing an enjoyable job is far better and is more important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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