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As economy develops, people in developing countries feel happier while people in developed countries feel less happy. Reasons? What Iessons can we learn from it?

As economy develops, people in developing countries feel happier while people in developed countries feel less happy. Reasons? What Iessons can we learn from it? 7JaJ5
It is undenable fact that people who live in developed countries they have all kind of basic facilty and they can earn good amount of money living so hactice lifestyle while in developing coutries they may still earn money as much ther basic need but they still have some peceful lifestyle. I personly belive that people of rich counries should learn from poor countries. Firsty, people who live in rich countries thay have to work harder to stay financaliy stable and survies in that countries. There are so many people who hustle and bustle to manage there profestionl and presonl life and still they do not have happy family becouse every one working therefor family mambers have not so much time togather. Secondly, they always run after to material world lifestlye rather than emostional and brotherwood and family. By the money thay can have house but not family, by the money thay may have bad but not sleep. Resently I read an article about weston lifestyle in Times auther say that most of people in 70% rich countries can not live life happly. And divoces ratio is higher than devloping countries On the other hand, developing countrise people might be so much pood but he live with there family happly. However he also hardwork for ther bread butter but after all hardwork he always have a loving wif and childern who obey them. The seemingly inexorable debate about happines in rich countries can keep on going. Nertheless, showing a deep reverance for all observing the finer nuance of matter metioned above, I espouse the notion of supporting that happies is state of mind money and materiles can not provied happiness that’s why devloping countries people are more happy.
It is
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undenable
fact that
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
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live
in developed
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countries
they have all kind of basic
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
facilty and
they can earn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of
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money
living
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
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hactice
lifestyle while in developing
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coutries
they may
still
earn
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money
as much
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ther
basic need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
still
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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peceful
lifestyle. I
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personly
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belive
that
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people
of
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rich
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counries
should learn from poor countries.

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Firsty
,
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people
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who
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live
in
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rich
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countries
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thay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work harder to stay
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financaliy
stable and
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survies
in that
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countries
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
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who
hustle and bustle to manage there
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profestionl
and
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presonl
life and
still
they do not have happy
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family
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becouse
every one working therefor
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family
Possible spelling mistake found.
mambers
have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much time
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togather
.

Secondly
, they always run after to material world
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lifestlye
rather
than
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emostional
and
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brotherwood
and
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family
. By the
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money
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thay
can have
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house
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but
not
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family
, by the
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money
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thay
may have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not sleep.
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Resently
I read an article about
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weston
lifestyle in Times
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auther
say that most of
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people
in 70%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can not
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live
life
Possible spelling mistake found.
happly
. And
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divoces
ratio is higher than
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devloping
countries

On the other hand
, developing
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countrise
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people
might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much pood
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but
he
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live
with there
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family
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happly
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
he
also
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hardwork
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for ther
bread butter
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but
after all
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hardwork
he always
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
a loving
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wif
and
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childern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
obey them.

The
seemingly
inexorable debate about
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happines
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on going.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nertheless
, showing a deep
Possible spelling mistake found.
reverance
for all observing the finer nuance of matter
Possible spelling mistake found.
metioned
above, I espouse the notion of supporting that
Possible spelling mistake found.
happies
is state of mind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
materiles
can not
Possible spelling mistake found.
provied
happiness that’s why
Possible spelling mistake found.
devloping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more happy.

IELTS essay As economy develops, people in developing countries feel happier while people in developed countries feel less happy. Reasons? What Iessons can we learn from it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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