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As countries become more industrialized more people move from the countryside. What are some problems caused by this and how can we solve them?

As countries become more industrialized more people move from the countryside. What are some problems caused by this and how can we solve them? 6aej8
In modernized world, the majority of people are migrating rural to urban cities. This situation pave the way to the increasing of over-population and the rate of traffic congestion in city. However, composing effective civil facilitates and well-paid job for citizens in rural areas and the widening roadways can be coping the strategies against the issues. This struggle to reside in a large country brings about over-crowding as people desire to more convenient places comparing countryside. Containing too many occupants not only causes declining living-condition, but also noise, air, water pollution. Additionally, although roads are regulated by rules and signs, there are more traffic such as rising speed limit, running of pedestrians. As a result, this leads to crashing of vehicles and unexpected situations like death in society. Nowadays, according to latest data, Moscow tops the world’s most-congested list. Nevethless, one way to mitigate this problem is create effective civil facilities and well-paid job in their own countryside. Consequently, city doesn’t attract them rural rather than they hoped. The other solution is to get the size of roads more wider and urge people to utilize light transports such as bike which is profitable for healthy lifestyle. To conclude, moving number of dwellers to commercing countries can worsen standard of living which can be disclosed by multipling appropriate wheels.
In modernized world, the majority of
people
are migrating rural to urban cities.
This situation pave
the way to the increasing of over-population and the rate of traffic congestion in city.
However
, composing effective civil facilitates and well-paid job for citizens in rural areas and the widening roadways can be coping the strategies against the issues.

This struggle to reside in a large country brings about over-crowding as
people
desire to more convenient places comparing countryside. Containing too
many
occupants not
only
causes declining living-condition,
but
also
noise, air, water pollution.
Additionally
, although roads
are regulated
by
rules
and signs, there are more traffic such as rising speed limit, running of pedestrians.
As a result
, this leads to crashing of vehicles and unexpected situations like death in society. Nowadays, according to
latest
data, Moscow tops the world’s most-congested list.

Nevethless
, one way to mitigate this problem is
create
effective civil facilities and well-paid job in their
own
countryside.
Consequently
, city doesn’t attract them rural
rather
than they hoped. The other solution is to
get
the size of roads
more wider
and urge
people
to utilize light transports such as bike which is profitable for healthy lifestyle.

To conclude
, moving number of dwellers to
commercing
countries can worsen standard of living which can
be disclosed
by
multipling
appropriate wheels.
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IELTS essay As countries become more industrialized more people move from the countryside. What are some problems caused by this and how can we solve them?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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