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Artists should be funded by the government. Do you agree or disagree?

Artists should be funded by the government. KyePN
In recent years, artists have played an increasingly crucial role in modern society. From my perspective, while I believe that they should be financially supported by governments, I am also convinced that money for art projects should come from other sources. On the one hand, some art projects definitely require help from the state. First of all, if these artists are funded by governments, they can be able to easily earn a decent living while creating their extraordinary masterpieces. Moreover, when the government proposes financial support, it is also logical that they can request certain works of art to be created so as to promote the sense of national identity or illustrate the nation’s cultures or history. As a consequence, in addition to being educational and meaningful, these artworks can play an important role in their artists’ careers by allowing people to acknowledge them and therefore improve their reputation. On the other hand, I hold the view that these creative artists should also be funded by alternative sources. The first reason is that they can earn money independently by selling their works of art or performing in many concerts or theaters. In doing so, they can directly receive some opinions from their audiences, so that they can have their own motivations to maintain their careers and passions. Another argument is that they can base on the funds of other sources such as entertainment companies or certain art communities. These firms, which already have intensive experiences and knowledge in arts fields, may efficiently support and enhance artists’ images better than governments. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that outstanding artists can rely on both governments and other sources such as themselves or specialized organizations to strongly develop their careers later in life.
In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
have played an
increasingly
crucial role in modern society. From my perspective, while I believe that they should be
financially
supported by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
, I am
also
convinced that money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
projects should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sources.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
projects definitely require
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from the state.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
are funded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
, they can be able to
easily
earn a decent living while creating their extraordinary masterpieces.
Moreover
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
proposes financial support, it is
also
logical that they can request certain works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
to
be created
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
promote the sense of national identity or illustrate the nation’s cultures or history. As a consequence,
in addition
to being educational and meaningful, these artworks can play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists’
careers by allowing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to acknowledge them and
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their reputation.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I hold the view that these creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
should
also
be funded
by alternative sources. The
first
reason is that they can earn money
independently
by selling their works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
or performing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
concerts or theaters. In doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they can
directly
receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opinions from their audiences,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
motivations to maintain their careers and passions. Another argument is that they can base on the funds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sources such as entertainment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
communities. These firms, which already have intensive experiences and knowledge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
fields, may
efficiently
support and enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists’
images better than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.

In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
can rely on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sources such as themselves or specialized organizations to
strongly
develop their careers later in life.
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IELTS essay Artists should be funded by the government.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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