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A family has a great influence on children’s development, but others believe that the media is a bigger influence. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

A family has a great influence on children’s development, but others believe that the media is a bigger influence. xO1YQ
Nowadays, although the rise in high-tech devices is why people advocate that media play a crucial role in children's growth, I state that the impact of their families is more deeply. This essay will go deeper into both views. To begin with, television programs and the internet are having a profound impact on our children's personality and mental formation as well as their physical health. To clarify, many experts argue that while the increasing exposure to new forms of technology has broadened our children's knowledge significantly compared to us at that ages, it also responds to the lack of physical activity in our children, which is the main cause of their current rise in obesity. Moreover, the more time children spend in the online world, the less they connect with their family and friends, which makes their impact by the media become unpredictable and intractable to their parents and tutors. On the other hand, families who raise and spend most of the time with children still hold the central role in their development. For instance, most of today's young and successful politicians, composers, or scientists also have parents working in the same field who are admitted to have a positive influence and help navigate their children’s cognition from very young ages. Furthermore, parents not only limit their child's screen time and the TV shows they can watch, but they can also encourage them to engage in more beneficial physical activity and interact with real friends rather than online ones. Therefore, family can both reduce the bad effects of the media and optimize the advantages of it. In conclusion, the era of technological advancement makes it undeniable that media is having a vital impact on children's development. However, the principal role of families, in my opinion, still remain unchanged.
Nowadays, although the rise in high-tech devices is why
people
advocate that
media
play a crucial role in
children's
growth, I state that the
impact
of their
families
is more
deeply
. This essay will go deeper into both views.

To
begin
with, television programs and the internet are having a profound
impact
on our
children's
personality and mental formation
as well
as their physical health. To clarify,
many
experts argue that while the increasing exposure to new forms of technology has broadened our
children's
knowledge
significantly
compared to us at that ages, it
also
responds to the lack of physical activity in our
children
, which is the main cause of their
current
rise in obesity.
Moreover
, the more time
children
spend in the online world, the less they connect with their
family
and friends, which
makes
their
impact
by the
media
become unpredictable and intractable to their parents and tutors.

On the other hand
,
families
who raise and spend most of the time with
children
still
hold the central role in their development.
For instance
, most of
today
's young and successful politicians, composers, or scientists
also
have parents working in the same field who
are admitted
to have a
positive
influence and
help
navigate their
children’s
cognition from
very
young ages.
Furthermore
, parents not
only
limit their child's screen time and the TV
shows
they can
watch
,
but
they can
also
encourage them to engage in more beneficial physical activity and interact with real friends
rather
than online ones.
Therefore
,
family
can both
reduce
the
bad
effects of the
media
and optimize the advantages of it.

In conclusion
, the era of technological advancement
makes
it undeniable that
media
is having a vital
impact
on
children's
development.
However
, the principal role of
families
, in my opinion,
still
remain unchanged.
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IELTS essay A family has a great influence on children’s development, but others believe that the media is a bigger influence.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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