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Around the world more and more people today are living in urban areas.

Around the world more and more people today are living in urban areas. eR6RA
One of the most controversial issues today is related to the increase of desire of people all over the glob for living in cities. In this essay I will investigate this globally matter, also, some possible problems that are the direct impact of it, will illustrate. To begin, by developing technology and spreading of some modern gadgets like mobile, computer and internet facilities which are available for most of individuals all over the world, people tend to immigrate to metropolises due to gain more luxurious life which can be watched in TVs shows and some other social medias. In addition lack of adequate job opportunities in rural areas is another factor that enforce young generation to move metropolises in order to gain better occupations for their living. On the other hand, this growing desire for living in urban regions can causes lots of problems. One of the most significant difficulties is overpopulation in that place which has direct impact on other aspects of urban life. To illustrate, rising the number of urban residents can diminish job opportunities for local people, moreover, in lack of sufficient work permits, poverty will emerge. To conclusion, lots of factors can cause people immigrate to urban areas like lack of enough job, seeking for better life condition and also being under impact of social media
One of the most controversial issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is related
to the increase of desire of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the glob for living in cities. In this essay I will investigate this globally matter,
also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible problems that are the direct impact of it, will illustrate. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, by developing technology and spreading of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
modern gadgets like mobile, computer and internet facilities which are available for
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the individuals") or simply say "most individuals".
most of individuals
all over the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to immigrate to metropolises due to gain more luxurious life which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
in TVs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other social medias. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
lack of adequate job opportunities in rural areas is another factor that enforce young generation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
metropolises in order to gain better occupations for their living.

On the other hand
, this growing desire for living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
regions can causes lots of problems. One of the most significant difficulties is overpopulation in that place which has direct impact on other aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
life. To illustrate, rising the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
residents can diminish job opportunities for local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
moreover
, in lack of sufficient work permits, poverty will emerge.

To conclusion, lots of factors can cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
immigrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
areas like lack of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
job, seeking for better life condition and
also
being under impact of social media
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IELTS essay Around the world more and more people today are living in urban areas.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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