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Around the world, more and more people are living in urban areas. Why is this, what problems does this cause?

Around the world, more and more people are living in urban areas. Why is this, what problems does this cause? JpWE
It is generally accepted that, the number of individuals who select to residein cities has escalated in recent years around the globe. They illustrate possible reasons to why people move to cities. A handful of troubles which are emanated by movers are available. To commence with, more and more people in our hustle and bustle lifestyledesire to live in a satisfactory conditioned life. Majority of urban areas can offer people life which they want since cities are known to more modern compared to suburban areas. Besides that, there are sufficient high-paid job vacancies in cities thanks to a plemty of companies, factories and even restaurants which can employ individuals according to their abilities and skills. Not only people are expected to move towns working a profession with huge amount of salary, but also they have a great opportunity to provide their children with high quality educational centers or schools, because well experienced and high skilled teachers are enough in urban places. There is no doubt, a plethora of concerning issues can arise, due to the fact that many people choose to dwell in towns. First and foremost, overpopulation take place in urban areas. These can bring dramatic increasement in the rate of crime. As a consequence, many children's behaviour become worse. Apart from that, most cities' inhabitants are prone to experience homelessness due to over increased citizens. Therefore a myriad of people have to live in streets. These condition can absolutely damage for the reputation of country. To illustrate India can be the best example for this situation owing to many people move to urban places. In conclusion, it is vividly evidence from the all above mentioned discussion that people who migrate the cities have their possible purposes and it can lead to many troubles including overpopulation and homelessness.
It is
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that, the number of individuals who select to
Possible spelling mistake found.
residein
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has escalated in recent years around the globe. They illustrate possible reasons to why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. A handful of troubles which
are emanated
by movers are available.

To commence with, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in our hustle and bustle
Possible spelling mistake found.
lifestyledesire
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a satisfactory conditioned life. Majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
areas can offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life which they want since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are known
to more modern compared to suburban areas.
Besides
that, there are sufficient high-paid job vacancies in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
thanks to a
Possible spelling mistake found.
plemty
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, factories and even restaurants which can employ individuals according to their abilities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
towns working a profession with huge amount of salary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they have a great opportunity to provide their children with high quality educational centers or schools,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
well experienced and high skilled teachers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
places.

There is no doubt, a plethora of concerning issues can arise, due to the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to dwell in towns.
First
and foremost, overpopulation take place in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
areas. These can bring dramatic
Possible spelling mistake found.
increasement
in the rate of crime. As a consequence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
become worse. Apart from that, most cities' inhabitants are prone to experience homelessness due to over increased citizens.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
a myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in streets. These condition can
absolutely
damage for the reputation of country. To illustrate India can be the best example for this situation owing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
places.

In conclusion
, it is
vividly
Consider using a past participle here: "evidenced".
evidence
from the all above mentioned discussion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who migrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have their possible purposes and it can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
troubles including overpopulation and homelessness.
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IELTS essay Around the world, more and more people are living in urban areas. Why is this, what problems does this cause?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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