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Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? XpNr
In today's Era, there has been drastic change in every field due to the rapid advancement in Technology. Surviving without Technology nowadays is similar to birds without Wings. Globalization and Internet has made the world extremely small. Even though the person may be thousands of Kilometers far away, anyone can connect with that person through internet. While working or studying at their particular places has several benefits, I would argue that working or studying from home through newly developed technology has more advantages. Whenever a student is studying in live classroom then they are more keenly interested in learning new things and they are extremely attentive. However, if the same student is studying from the home sitting behind the screen of Mobilr or Laptop then the student can get distracted by various factors. On the contrary, there are various advantages of working or studying from home through the newly developed technology. Nowadays there occurs several instances in life where people are unable to go at their work place or place where they study due to various consequences. However, at that moment of time if the facility of working from home is enabled then they can efficiently complete their by sitting at their home. For example, recently due to the outburst of COVID-19 pandemic every aspects of life were disturbed. However, the technology was highly useful in education sector. To conclude, the cheaper and easily accessible technology puts a very positive impact on the society. Government should encourage various Companies and Educational department to utilize the technology at its best.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's Era, there has been drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in every field due to the rapid advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
. Surviving without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
nowadays is similar to birds without Wings. Globalization and Internet has made the world
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
.
Even though
the person may be thousands of Kilometers far away, anyone can connect with that person through internet.

While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
at their particular places has several benefits, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
from home through
newly
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has more advantages. Whenever a student is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
classroom then they are more
keenly
interested in learning new
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
things and
they are
extremely
attentive.
However
, if the same student is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
from the home sitting behind the screen of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mobilr
or Laptop then the student can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
factors.

On the contrary
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
from home through the
newly
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Nowadays there occurs several instances in life where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are unable to go at their work place or place where they study due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
consequences.
However
, at that moment of time if the facility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home
is enabled
then they can
efficiently
complete their by sitting at their home.
For example
, recently due to the outburst of COVID-19 pandemic every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "aspect"?
aspects
of life
were disturbed
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
was
highly
useful in education sector.

To conclude
, the cheaper and
easily
accessible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
puts a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the society.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
and Educational department to utilize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
at its best.

IELTS essay Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.