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arenas are banger brother are the ones we go

arenas are banger brother are the ones we go KV9x6
A number of health experts propose that elder people spend a significant amount of their time socializing with others and practicing sports to maintain their fitness. However, a multitude of retired individuals have experienced solitude and lack of health. Since the people lack in motivation and pleasure, they are unable to socialize and play sports. Nevertheless, manufacturing new recreational centers with some additional facilities for the retired people may help to build an ideal atmosphere for such individuals. Because most of people discontinue their job in their 50 s, their body is exhausted and ultimately such workers lack in motivation to socialize with other individuals. For example, a research showed that the levels of hormones such as dopamine and adrenaline decline as we grow older. Therefore, lack motivation and amusement has a great impact on the skills of interacting with other people and practicing sports. However, building recreational centers especially for the senior citizens can be a remedy to this burning issue, since they can assist these masses to overcome loneliness and increase their health levels. For instance, in countries like Canada, special athletic arenas are built for the citizens above the age of 45 so that they can interact with others and enjoy their lives to the fullest. Overall, amusement centers can be built to overcome isolation and develop good health. In conclusion, although the retired employees face numerous complexities associated with socializing and fitness after their retirement, certain amusement arenas can be developed to tackle solitude and increase their fitness.
A number of health experts propose that elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a significant amount of their time socializing with others and practicing sports to maintain their fitness.
However
, a multitude of retired individuals have experienced solitude and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of health. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
in motivation and pleasure, they are unable to socialize and play sports.
Nevertheless
, manufacturing new recreational centers with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
additional facilities for the retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build an ideal atmosphere for such individuals.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
discontinue their job in their 50 s, their body
is exhausted
and
ultimately
such workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
in motivation to socialize with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
individuals.
For example
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the levels of hormones such as dopamine and adrenaline decline as we grow older.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
motivation and amusement has a great impact on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and practicing sports.

However
, building recreational centers
especially
for the senior citizens can be a remedy to this burning issue, since they can assist these masses to overcome loneliness and increase their health levels.
For instance
, in countries like Canada, special athletic arenas
are built
for the citizens above the age of 45
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can interact with others and enjoy their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to the fullest.
Overall
, amusement centers can
be built
to overcome isolation and develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health.

In conclusion
, although the retired employees face numerous complexities associated with socializing and fitness after their retirement, certain amusement arenas can
be developed
to tackle solitude and increase their fitness.

IELTS essay arenas are banger brother are the ones we go

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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