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are still students. After thinking about it from several aspects, I do not believe it is a good idea. The reasons ar

are still students. After thinking about it from several aspects, I do not believe it is a good idea. The reasons ar bDgAg
In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. After thinking about it from several aspects, I do not believe it is a good idea. The reasons are presented below. Part-time jobs may affect students' academic studies. Working several hours a day consumes a lot of time and one might be too exhausted to study. The main purpose of school life for teenagers is to learn scientific knowledge and techniques in preparation for their future. It is generally suggested that in order to master what they have learned at school, students must spend at least 3 hours each day on their homework. It would be impossible for a student to work part- time while maintaining a high standard of academic learning. As a result, they may find it hard to adjust to what the school and society expects from them as well as what their employers expect them to perform on the job. Another reason why I do not approve teenagers to work part-time is that working while studying will deprive their time of sleep and will do harm to their health. Teenagers are in the process of building up their body. They need time to do exercises and engage in other activities, and they also need plenty of rest. If they work, they may sacrifice their time for sleep, club activities, exercise, and recreation. Sometimes, teenagers have jobs that consume more strength than they can afford. This will be definitely harmful to their health. Finally, working part-time and making extra money may contribute to their bad habits. Teenagers are not mature enough to spend money wisely. However with part-time jobs they make money that allow them to spend whatever way they like, such as playing electronic games, smoking, drinking, and even gambling. Based on the above discussion, I do not think it is a good idea for teenagers to work while they are still students. Compared with their whole lifetime, school life is a short period. Teenagers should value their school life and make full use of the time. Only by working hard during school life can they find their proper jobs in their future life.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
while they are
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. After thinking about it from several aspects, I do not believe it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. The reasons
are presented
below.

Part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
may affect students' academic studies.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
several hours a day consumes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and one might be too exhausted to study. The main purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
is to learn scientific knowledge and techniques in preparation for their future. It is
generally
suggested that in order to master what they have learned at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spend at least 3 hours each day on their homework. It would be impossible for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
part-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
while maintaining a high standard of academic learning.
As a result
, they may find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to adjust to what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
from them
as well
as what their employers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
them to perform on the job.

Another reason why I do not approve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
part-time is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
while studying will deprive their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of sleep and will do harm to their health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
are in the process of building up their body. They need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do exercises and engage in other activities, and they
also
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of rest. If they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, they may sacrifice their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for sleep, club activities, exercise, and recreation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that consume more strength than they can afford. This will be definitely harmful to their health.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
part-time and making extra money may contribute to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
are not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to spend money
wisely
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
with part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to spend whatever way they like, such as playing electronic games, smoking, drinking, and even gambling.

Based on the above discussion, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
while they are
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Compared with their whole lifetime,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is a short period.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
should value their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
full
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can they find their proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay are still students. After thinking about it from several aspects, I do not believe it is a good idea. The reasons ar

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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