Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? qNYD
TDifferent people hold different point of view regarding the way media treat famous personalities, specifically in terms of coverage of their private lives. I strongly believe that the media should refrain itself from breaching the privacy of notable personalities & I will provide suitable reasoning to support my stand. To further strengthen my position, light on the other view point will also be shed along with discussing its faults. Firstly, it should be noted that privacy is equally needed by everyone. For me privacy is our right & cannot be compromised in any way. In my opinion, media nowadays fail to draw line between private & social life. It greatly confuses the two and the result is obnoxious, unethical, spiced up news. Taking the example of the latest news hype about a Pakistani actress wearing western clothes & smoking with an Indian star; the act itself is very personal but media of both countries didn’t fail to fully cover it and make a fuss out of it. It can be easily estimated that 40% of news influx is related to private matters of celebrities and this needs to change. They use it to increase their channel rankings & get maximum viewership. On the other hand, there is a school of thought that believes that fame comes for a certain price & that is to sacrifice your privacy. They are comfortable with media breaching privacy of celebrities as they are of the opinion that a celebrity becomes a national asset & is the bearer of national culture. I again, condemn this thought & believes that it is unethical to poke around into private matters of anyone. Concluding, I want to say that line must be drawn between a celebrity’s private & social life & media should avoid invading their lives, as privacy is our psychological need. It is not an acceptable trend to use such news for increased channel ratings.
Possible spelling mistake found.
TDifferent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
point of view regarding the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
treat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personalities,
specifically
in terms of coverage of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I
strongly
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should refrain itself from breaching the privacy of notable personalities & I will provide suitable reasoning to support my stand. To
further
strengthen my position, light on the other view point will
also
be shed
along with discussing its faults.

Firstly
, it should
be noted
that privacy is
equally
needed by everyone. For me privacy is our right & cannot
be compromised
in any way. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
nowadays fail to draw line between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
& social life. It
greatly
confuses the two and the result is obnoxious, unethical, spiced up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. Taking the example of the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
hype about a Pakistani actress wearing western clothes & smoking with an Indian star; the act itself is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
personal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
of both countries didn’t fail to
fully
cover it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a fuss out of it. It can be
easily
estimated that 40% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
influx
is related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
matters of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and this needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to increase their channel rankings &
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
maximum viewership.

On the other hand
, there is a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that believes that fame
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
for a certain price &
that is
to sacrifice your privacy. They are comfortable with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
breaching privacy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
as they are of the opinion that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
becomes a national asset & is the bearer of national culture. I again, condemn this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
& believes that it is unethical to poke around into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
matters of anyone.

Concluding, I want to say that line
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be drawn
between a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
& social life &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should avoid invading their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, as privacy is our psychological need. It is not an acceptable trend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
for increased channel ratings.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts