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Doctors recommend that older people should get regular exercise. However, many older people do not take enough exercise. What could be the reasons for this? What can be done to encourage them to take exercise?

Doctors recommend that older people should get regular exercise. However, many older people do not take enough exercise. What could be the reasons for this? What can be done to encourage them to take exercise? 21NJ
Nowadays, increase the health problems among elders. Doctors advice old people to do a Exercise daily but elders ignore the advice of doctorsThe first and foremost reason is lack of awareness in old people. This is because they are unknown from the results of disease such as High blood pressure and obesity. There is no doubt that doctor recommended to do Exercise daily but doctors not give proper explanation about benefits and draw back of doing Exercise daily. in contrast if doctors give a proper guidance then old age people can do more and more Exercise daily Solution to this problem can be give the proper awareness to elders by providing them education at public places such as parks, railway stations etc. Advertisement in newspaper and TV's is also a good idea to spread awareness among them. this is because mostly older people spend time to read newspaper and watching news on television. By providing them handouts with benefits and draw backs of doing Exercise mentioned on it is easiest method To sum up due to lack of awareness about diseases elders ignore the advice of doctors but by spreading the awareness they easily start doing Exercise daily
Nowadays, increase the health problems among
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elders
.
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Doctors
advice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
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people
to do
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
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Exercise
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daily
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but
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elders
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ignore
the advice of
Possible spelling mistake found.
doctorsThe
first
and foremost reason is lack of
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awareness
in
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old
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people
. This is
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because
they are unknown from the results of disease such as High blood pressure and obesity. There is no doubt that
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doctor
The verb 'recommended' is used with the gerund form: "recommended doing".
recommended to do
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Exercise
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daily
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but
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doctors
not give proper explanation about benefits and draw back of doing
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Exercise
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daily
.
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in
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
contrast
if
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doctors
give a proper guidance then
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old
age
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people
can do more and more
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Exercise
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daily
Solution to this problem can be give the proper
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awareness
to
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elders
by providing them education at public places such as parks, railway stations etc. Advertisement in newspaper and TV's is
also
a
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good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to spread
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awareness
among them.
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this
is
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because
mostly
older
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people
spend time to read newspaper and watching news on television. By providing them handouts with benefits and draw backs of doing
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Exercise
mentioned on it is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the easiest".
easiest
method To sum up due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
about diseases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the advice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by spreading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
they
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Exercise
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
daily
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IELTS essay Doctors recommend that older people should get regular exercise. However, many older people do not take enough exercise. What could be the reasons for this? What can be done to encourage them to take exercise?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
197 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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