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Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? gkBD
The topic of privacy for celebrities is still widely debated nowadays. Some people claiming that famous people should sacrifice their privacy to earn attention and profits, while others disagree with it. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I will consider now. On the one hand, the supporters of the media highlighted that being exposed to the public is part of the celebrity's job. It is often said that the famous should get used to the high exposure rate to the public, which includes their personal life. What's more, they also said that consistent reports from media can greatly shape the behaviours of the famous. For example, if a celebrity expects that his private life will be recorded or reported by the media, then there is a higher chance for him to behave in order. Conversely, if the media does not report the private life, the public would not know if the celebrity is drug addicted or involves in other grey areas. On the other hand, the advocates of more personal space to the famous highlighted that they should be treated as human beings. In other words, the media should treat everyone fairly regardless of occupation, gender, or race. Furthermore, the famous are bearing much more burdens and pressures than we think. Sometimes they get depressed or commit suicide because the cyber-bullying and the negative comments on the internet. For example, there were more than 10 Korean popstars decided to end their life at such young ages in a range of 20 to 30. No matter what they do, even a smell can attract thousands of negative comments that attack them. Finally, the media should give the famous a break from cameras, they should feel comfortable wearing cozy clothes and go out without makeups. Overall, I feel that the media should give the famous more privacy because the negative effects on the mental and physical health of the famous are significant and require immediate actions.
The topic of privacy for celebrities is
still
widely
debated nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claiming that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should sacrifice their privacy to earn attention and profits, while others disagree with it. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I will consider
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

On the one hand, the supporters of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
highlighted that
being exposed
to the public is part of the celebrity's job. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the high exposure rate to the public, which includes their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. What's more, they
also
said that consistent reports from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can
greatly
shape the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
.
For example
, if a celebrity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
that his private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will
be recorded
or reported by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, then there is a higher chance for him to behave in order.
Conversely
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
does not report the private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, the public would not know if the celebrity is drug addicted or involves in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake. 'grey' is British English.
grey
areas.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the advocates of more personal space to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
highlighted that they should
be treated
as human beings. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should treat everyone
fairly
regardless of occupation, gender, or race.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
are bearing much more burdens and pressures than we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
depressed or commit suicide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the cyber-bullying and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
comments on the internet.
For example
, there were more than 10 Korean
Possible spelling mistake found.
popstars
decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
at such young ages in a range of 20 to 30. No matter what they do, even a smell can attract thousands of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
comments that attack them.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
a break from cameras, they should feel comfortable wearing cozy clothes and go out without makeups.

Overall
, I feel that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
more privacy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the mental and physical health of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
are significant and require immediate actions.
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IELTS essay Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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