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Write about the following topic. Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? G7Ro
Social media is crossing over the electronic media day by day due to the fact of increasing technology. All the celebrities are using Instagram and their fans are attached with them on this site. well-known people on social media are facing trolling and are being treated not fairly by the media. The public and media are making fun of them on a single issue. Then, these celebrities change their social sites or don't use them again. I think well-known people have the right to maintain their privacy. Further explaining this, the government should provide them more privacy. So, they can easily continue their entertainment and work. In 2014, A famous social media girl was murdered by locals of her area because she was a vulgar entertainer. In the second line, the media people are hunger for fame. If they don't get fame then they can easily suicide or kill themselves. In 2019, Sushant an Indian actor did not get proper attention from the media and fans then, he murdered himself right away. In the conclusion of this essay, I would like to further explain that, media persons have their private life and the public shouldn't include to their personal life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is crossing over the electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
day by day due to the fact of increasing technology. All the celebrities are using Instagram and their fans
are attached
with them on this site.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
well-known
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are facing trolling and are
being treated
not
fairly
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. The public and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are making fun of them on a single issue. Then, these celebrities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
sites or don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them again. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
well-known
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the right to maintain their privacy.

Further
explaining this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide them more privacy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they can
easily
continue their entertainment and work. In 2014, A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
girl
was murdered
by locals of her area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she was a vulgar entertainer.

In the second line, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are hunger for fame. If they don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fame then they can
easily
suicide or kill themselves. In 2019,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sushant
an Indian actor did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper attention from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and fans then, he murdered himself right away.

In the conclusion of this essay, I would like to
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
persons have their private life and the public shouldn't include to their personal life.
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IELTS essay Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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