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answer the second writing

answer the second writing 7pjg3
Some of the countries, becoming more stimulating among people who finding out about the history of houses or building where they live in. This kind of situations are being caused with interests of them or senses of community. The following bodies we are to discussed reasons and how researching. Some people investigate into the stories of their homes simply as they are inquisitive. The number of historical buildings has been torn down, which makes those that remain rare treasures in the city. As a consequence, it is probable that populaces in the enduring buildings can’t help finding out more about them, for instance when they were built and why they look the way which they do. There are also people who do research to find a sense of connection. With concrete residential buildings everywhere, neighborhoods nowadays look very alike and therefore it is hard for people to feel something special about where they live. However, by learning about the buildings that once stood there and the people who lived in them, for example, a sense of connection and involvement may be fostered. The best way for people to explore, I believe, is to ask the elderly in their neighborhood. Many seniors have lived in the same neighborhood all their lives. They have seen it change around them. They have witnessed people coming and going. Talking to them can definitely help one uncover some intriguing stories of the place where one lives. To conclude, inquisitiveness and a wish to pursue a connection are two conceivable reasons why people explore the history of their homes. To find answers, they should ask the old people in their neighborhood for help
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
countries, becoming more stimulating among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who finding out about the history of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. This kind of situations are
being caused
with interests of them or senses of community. The following bodies we are to discussed reasons and how researching.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
investigate into the stories of their homes
simply
as they are inquisitive. The number of historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
has
been torn
down, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
those that remain rare treasures in the city. As a consequence, it is probable that populaces in the enduring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
finding out more about them,
for instance
when they
were built
and why they look the way which they do.

There are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do research to find a sense of connection. With concrete residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
everywhere,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighborhoods
nowadays look
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
alike and
therefore
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to feel something special about where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
However
, by learning about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
that once stood there and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in them,
for example
, a sense of connection and involvement may
be fostered
.

The best way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to explore, I believe, is to ask the elderly in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighborhood
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
seniors have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighborhood
all their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. They have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
around them. They have witnessed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming and going. Talking to them can definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
one uncover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
intriguing stories of the place where one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To conclude
, inquisitiveness and a wish to pursue a connection are two conceivable reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
explore the history of their homes. To find answers, they should ask the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighborhood
for
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
help
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IELTS essay answer the second writing

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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