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ANIMAL SPECIES ARE BECOMING EXTINCT DUE TO HUMAN ACTIVITIES ON LAND AND IN SEA. DISCUSS THE REASONS AND SOLUTIONS

ANIMAL SPECIES ARE BECOMING EXTINCT DUE TO HUMAN ACTIVITIES ON LAND AND IN SEA. DISCUSS THE REASONS AND SOLUTIONS m1MqA
The activities of humans as apex creatures severely affect other creatures. Furthermore, forestation and hunting are some of the reasons that lead to the extinction of animals. This essay will discuss the aforementioned causes and the solutions, such as encouraging tree planting and also a ban on animal hunting by the government. Forestation has a great impact on the habitat, especially birds. For example, in Nigeria due to the cutting down of trees, fewer birds are seen, as many of them migrate to neighbouring countries where they can find suitable abode. In addition, hunting is also a causative factor in the decline of animal life in certain geographic areas. Research reports that animals such as elephants and whales in china are killed either for leisure or for their parts which are sold at exorbitant rates on the black market. Consequently, such actions lead to a massive reduction in the number of these animals. One way to mitigate the effect of man's activities on the immediate environment is through planting. Programs such as " Save Earth " which was carried out in Ghana some years back, where citizens were encouraged to plant trees in a bid to protect the decline of the bird population. This will help to increase settlements for them. Furthermore, strict laws and measures should be enacted to dissuade the killing of animals either for sport or entertainment. Moreover, Japan is already experiencing a surge in the number of whales present in the Yuan sea, which was not so in the years past. The actions of the government by prohibiting animal abuse and punishing erring people led to this. To sum up, animals contribute to the ecosystem. Hence, they are relevant, if actions such as destruction of trees and hunting are countered by the government and individuals effectively there will be visible growth in the animal population, in a not so distant time.
The activities of humans as apex creatures
severely
affect other creatures.
Furthermore
, forestation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons that lead to the extinction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. This essay will discuss the aforementioned causes and the solutions, such as encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tree
planting and
also
a ban on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Forestation has a great impact on the habitat,
especially
birds.
For example
, in Nigeria due to the cutting down of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
, fewer birds are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them migrate to
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
countries where they can find suitable abode.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
is
also
a causative factor in the decline of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
life in certain geographic areas. Research reports that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
such as elephants and whales in
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
are killed
either for leisure or for their parts which
are sold
at exorbitant rates on the black market.
Consequently
, such actions lead to a massive reduction in the number of these animals.

One way to mitigate the effect of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
's activities on the immediate environment is through planting. Programs such as
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
Save Earth
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
which
was carried
out in Ghana
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
years back, where citizens
were encouraged
to plant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
in a bid to protect the decline of the bird population. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to increase settlements for them.
Furthermore
, strict laws and measures should
be enacted
to dissuade the killing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
either for sport or entertainment.
Moreover
, Japan is already experiencing a surge in the number of whales present in the Yuan sea, which was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in the years past. The actions of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
by prohibiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
abuse and punishing erring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
led to this.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
contribute to the ecosystem.
Hence
, they are relevant, if actions such as destruction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
are countered
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individuals
effectively
there will be visible growth in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
population, in a not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
distant time.
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IELTS essay ANIMAL SPECIES ARE BECOMING EXTINCT DUE TO HUMAN ACTIVITIES ON LAND AND IN SEA. DISCUSS THE REASONS AND SOLUTIONS

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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