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"The best way to reverse Aura Cosmetic's recent decline in profitability is to require each new employee in Aura's sales division to enroll in the popular SureSale seminar. After all, apparel company DressRite recently incorporated SureSale's week-long se

" The best way to reverse Aura Cosmetic's recent decline in profitability is to require each new employee in Aura's sales division to enroll in the popular SureSale seminar. After all, apparel company DressRite recently incorporated SureSale's week-long se aw8n9
The author mentions the roll of Sure sale seminar in improving the sales in some company. However, this argument has lots of flawed. Such as there is no evidence on how this seminar will boost the sales, twenty company with different background use one application and become successful this doesn’t mean the next company who use this product will also productive, and the meaning of decline and increase is not mentioned. Firstly, the relation between the Sure sale seminar and productivity of the company does not mention. Perhaps some age group like the young become interested in Cosmetics because of the previous advertising and they buy it now. So, having spent a huge amount of time and effort, company gain users of their product. The comparing to a different company with not the same product is not a sensible. Since every company has pros and cons in management and other criteria for themselves. As a case in point, Apple Company is a well-known in the digital market, however, Golrang sales shampoo. They must not compare to each other. In some season, people reluctant to buy the new electronic devices. Because the high quality of the previous one or the lower quality of the product compared to other product of the company. But they always need soap and shampoo. These problems won’t solve with some seminar. So before using some sort of seminar, dean of the company should be understood a number of reasons why some customer dislikes their state-of-art product. Secondly, they just mention their sales decrease. More importantly how they figure it out. There should be some statistics to show this fact. Moreover, their source may not reliable enough. Or even the people use the cosmetic product just in one season annually. There are diverse factors in order to change sales rates, such as vacation, wages and spare time. Vacation is so valuable for family's who parents both have a permanent job, hence, they will more and more reliable to shopping instead of craft. Not just this factor but also wage has a consequent effect on shopping. As a vivid example, the poor who suffer from the source of a financial problem cannot afford to buy stuff. So as much as the people suffer from poverty, they spend less and less on the cosmetic product. In conclusion, there are a number of reasons that lead to boost in sales of the product like families life condition. And there is not a clear and transparent relationship between sales seminars and improving this sales rate. Generally, according to aforesaid this gaining some sort of instruction for nowaday’s shopping is impossible.
The author mentions the roll of Sure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
in improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
However
, this argument has lots of flawed. Such as there is no evidence on how this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
will boost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
, twenty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
background
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
one application and become successful this doesn’t mean the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
will
also
productive, and the meaning of decline and increase is not mentioned.

Firstly
, the relation between the Sure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
and productivity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
does not mention. Perhaps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "ages"?
age
group like the young become interested in Cosmetics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the previous
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
advertising and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, having spent a huge amount of time and effort,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
gain users of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. The comparing to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
with not the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is not a sensible. Since every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
has pros and cons in management and other criteria for themselves. As a case in point, Apple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
is a well-known in the digital market,
however
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Golrang
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
shampoo. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not compare to each other. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
season,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
reluctant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the new electronic devices.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the high quality of the previous one or the lower quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
compared to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they always need soap and shampoo. These problems won’t solve with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
, dean of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should
be understood
a number of reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
customer dislikes their state-of-art product.

Secondly
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
mention their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
decrease. More
importantly
how they figure it out. There should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
statistics to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
this fact.
Moreover
, their source may not reliable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. Or even the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the cosmetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in one season
annually
. There are diverse factors in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
rates, such as vacation, wages and spare time. Vacation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
valuable for family's who parents both have a permanent job,
hence
, they will more and more reliable to shopping
instead
of craft. Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
this factor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
wage has a consequent effect on shopping. As a vivid example, the poor who suffer from the source of a financial problem cannot afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
stuff.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
as much as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffer from poverty, they spend less and less on the cosmetic product.

In conclusion
, there are a number of reasons that lead to boost in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
like
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "families'" or "family's"?
families
life condition. And there is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
and transparent relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminars
and improving this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
rate.
Generally
, according to aforesaid this gaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of instruction for
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowaday
’s shopping is impossible.
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IELTS essay " The best way to reverse Aura Cosmetic's recent decline in profitability is to require each new employee in Aura's sales division to enroll in the popular SureSale seminar. After all, apparel company DressRite recently incorporated SureSale's week-long se

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
439 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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