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An increasing number of university students are experiencing mental health issues. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to make this problem less severe?

An increasing number of university students are experiencing mental health issues. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to make this problem less severe? q685P
Studying at a university could be life-changing, and choosing the right major might be a puzzling choice. Therefore, studies noted that many university students tend to experience mental health issues. This essay will explain the reasons behind it and how it can be solved. Firstly, the changes in the pace of life for students suffer since the students came unprepared for the number of exams and assignments they were assigned. For example, high school students get treated like children. Otherwise, college students became responsible for the whole learning process, making students and leading to mental health issues. Secondly, universities are not inexpensive. Therefore, if the student did not get accepted into the university with a scholarship, students might suffer financially until graduation. Furthermore, having financial issues increases stress on the student, which leads to mental health problems. For instance, studies proved that debt-free people had a happier life and a better state of mind. The same applies to university students. In conclusion, university students can have better mental health by doing the following. First and foremost, preparing themselves before joining the university. Preparation is the key since it will help students and let them get their priorities right.
Studying at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
could be life-changing, and choosing the right major might be a puzzling choice.
Therefore
, studies noted that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tend to experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reasons behind it and how it can
be solved
.

Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the pace of life for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
suffer since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
came unprepared for the number of exams and assignments they
were assigned
.
For example
, high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
treated like children.
Otherwise
, college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
became responsible for the whole learning process, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are not inexpensive.
Therefore
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
with a scholarship,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might suffer
financially
until graduation.
Furthermore
, having financial issues increases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, which leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.
For instance
, studies proved that debt-free
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had a happier life and a better state of mind. The same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
students.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can have better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
by doing the following.
First
and foremost, preparing themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
joining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. Preparation is the key since it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their priorities right.
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IELTS essay An increasing number of university students are experiencing mental health issues. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to make this problem less severe?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
198 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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