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An increasing number of students are going overseas for tertiary education. To what extent does this overseas study benefit the students?

An increasing number of students are going overseas for tertiary education. ox0MD
It is obvious that, the number of students who choose to study in foreign countries is increasing dramatically nowadays. It is beneficial for students and their education life. Majority of students consider that advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages. Especially young people think that foreign countries will help them to get new opportunities. Firstly, from my perspective, studying abroad help students to develop their languages skills and it can also turn into an advantage for their future career life. Secondly, living and trying to survive in a different country that they are not similar can lead to improvement of social skills and low self-confidence. Because even if they do not want, they will be forced to interact with a number of people from different parts of the world. They will get a chance to enhance their cultural knowledge with the help of this interaction. Additionally, the intention of many students who prefer to study abroad is getting a well-paid job in the future or to build a new life from scratch in another country. Thus, majority of students opt for studying at prestigious universities, as it can also be beneficial for them in their new life path. Consequently, they will have a lot of life and educational experience at the end of studying period as well. If they consider to go back their own countries, then they will be one step ahead of other competitors when it comes to their career life. In conclusion, going to foreign countries for tertiary education gives a number of advantages to students to improve themselves and to become an intellectual member of the community.
It is obvious that, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who choose to study in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is increasing
dramatically
nowadays. It is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and their education life.

Majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
consider that advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad outweigh the disadvantages.
Especially
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
new opportunities.
Firstly
, from my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to develop their languages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and it can
also
turn into an advantage for their future career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Secondly
, living and trying to survive in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that they are not similar can lead to improvement of social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and low self-confidence.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
even if they do not want, they will
be forced
to interact with a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world. They will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to enhance their cultural knowledge with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of this interaction.
Additionally
, the intention of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who prefer to study abroad is getting a well-paid job in the future or to build a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
from scratch in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Thus
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
at prestigious universities, as it can
also
be beneficial for them in their new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
path.
Consequently
, they will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and educational experience at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
period
as well
. If they
The verb 'consider' is used with the gerund form: "consider going".
consider to go
back their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, then they will be one step ahead of other competitors when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to their career life.

In conclusion
, going to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for tertiary education gives a number of advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves and to become an intellectual member of the community.
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IELTS essay An increasing number of students are going overseas for tertiary education.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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