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An increasing number of schools provide tablets and laptop computers for students to use in school replacing books and other printed materials like exams and assignments What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend v.5

An increasing number of schools provide tablets and laptop computers for students to use in school replacing books and other printed materials like exams and assignments What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend v. 5
There is no room for doubt that the government needs to implement extremely effective means to tackle crime. It is often argued that further improvement in the level of education may be the best way of achieving this, as this can lead to career progression later in life. Personally, I feel that education is one of a range of action we should use, and is not the best strategy. To begin with, it is a widely acknowledged fact that the root cause of many criminal activities stems from poverty. This may result in offenders pursuing illegal ways such as fraud, burglary, and smuggling to earn money. For this reason, giving a great opportunity to be educated in their jail terms, they can enhance their practical skills, hopefully embarking on a promising career after serving sentence. Furthermore, in many cases, offenders need to learn codes of conduct and appropriate behaviour, as they have not been sufficiently nurtured by their parents and schools. Therefore, by using training programs, inmates can modify their malicious traits and characteristics which can provide enormous benefits for their social and professional skills. Of course, it is true that in certain cases we need to seek stricter ways to effectively rehabilitate offenders, for example, serial killers and hardened criminals. While having a personality disorder, they have shown to some extent a favourable response to the educational programs. This means, they can recognize their treacherous behaviours, and thus assume responsibility on their criminal activities. However, this does not overlook the role other rehabilitation strategies such as medical treatment of psychologic disorders. To conclude, educational programs seem a practical proposition to enhance criminal`s knowledge, and professional skill, and can be a source of codes of conduct to behave reasonably in society. Although this does not make it the best method to rehabilitate inmates, as some offenders suffer from personality disorders which may limit their response to education.
There is no room for doubt that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to implement
extremely
effective means to tackle crime. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
further
improvement in the level of education may be the best way of achieving this, as this can lead to career progression later in life.
Personally
, I feel that education is one of a range of action we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, and is not the best strategy.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is a
widely
acknowledged fact that the root cause of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities stems from poverty. This may result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
pursuing illegal ways such as fraud, burglary, and smuggling to earn money.
For this reason
, giving a great opportunity to
be educated
in their jail terms, they can enhance their practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
hopefully
embarking on a promising career after serving sentence.
Furthermore
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
need to learn codes
Did you mean "to"?
of
conduct and appropriate
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, as they have not been
sufficiently
nurtured by their parents and schools.
Therefore
, by using training programs, inmates can modify their malicious traits and characteristics which can provide enormous benefits for their social and professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Of course
, it is true that in certain cases we need to seek stricter ways to
effectively
rehabilitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
,
for example
, serial killers and hardened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. While having a personality disorder, they have shown to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
response to the educational programs. This means, they can recognize their treacherous
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
, and
thus
assume responsibility on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities.
However
, this does not overlook the role other rehabilitation strategies such as medical treatment of
Possible spelling mistake found.
psychologic
disorders.

To conclude
, educational programs seem a practical proposition to enhance
The character between 'criminal' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "criminal’s" (curly apostrophe) or "criminal's" (straight apostrophe).
criminal`s
knowledge, and professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, and can be a source of codes of conduct to behave
reasonably
in society. Although this does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it the best method to rehabilitate inmates, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
suffer from personality disorders which may limit their response to education.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay An increasing number of schools provide tablets and laptop computers for students to use in school replacing books and other printed materials like exams and assignments What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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