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An increasing number of professional, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries. What problems does this cause? Solutions?

An increasing number of professional, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries. What problems does this cause? Solutions? LrdB3
Nowadays, it is considered as a rising problem that many well-educated workers like doctors and teachers are immigrating towards richest countries are facing a huge number of problems by this continuing action. However, the governments of these countries should tackle this issue by taking effective solutions. On the one hand, the main problem with the emigration of professionals is that these countries may get even worsen in the future. In other words, particularly teachers and doctors are the most resourceful workers to our society for improving the knowledge of the community, especially the younger generation, and protecting each citizen’s health status. To illustrate this, even in Sri Lanka, some surgeons for a particular field are lacking due to their migration to developed countries. Consequently, this phenomenon leads to create the unhealthiest society. On the other hand, a possible solution to this problem would be that the government needs to allocate required facilities based on their higher skills. In fact, teachers in Sri Lanka are the ones who are getting the lowest salary compared to other government staff. To solve this problem, the government should have concerned about increasing their salaries in a sufficient amount. Consequently, this will change emigrant’s mindset and stay back in their motherland. Furthermore, the government should proceed with strict laws or stringent policies. Consequently, these conditions can limit skilled workers to certain periods and obtain their services for a certain period. For instance, any skilled employer can only migrate after accomplishing a certain period in their work. Consequently, from these rules, the community can up-lift its future generation routinely. To conclude, the emigration of skilled workers would highly affect the future generation in every aspect which can only be tackled by providing all the facilities to reconsider their decisions.
Nowadays, it
is considered
as a rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
well-educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
like doctors and teachers are immigrating towards
A determiner is probably missing here: "the richest".
richest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are facing a huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by this continuing action.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should tackle this issue by taking effective solutions.

On the one hand, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
with the emigration of professionals is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
even worsen in the future.
In other words
,
particularly
teachers and doctors are the most resourceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to our society for improving the knowledge of the community,
especially
the younger generation, and protecting each citizen’s health status. To illustrate this, even in Sri Lanka,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
surgeons for a particular field are lacking due to their migration to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Consequently
, this phenomenon leads to create the unhealthiest society.

On the other hand
, a possible solution to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
would be that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
needs to allocate required facilities based on their higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In fact, teachers in Sri Lanka are the ones who are getting the lowest salary compared to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
staff. To solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should have concerned about increasing their salaries in a sufficient amount.
Consequently
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
emigrant’s mindset and stay back in their motherland.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should proceed with strict laws or stringent policies.
Consequently
, these conditions can limit skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to certain periods and obtain their services for a certain period.
For instance
, any skilled employer can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
migrate after accomplishing a certain period in their work.
Consequently
, from these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, the community can up-lift its future generation
routinely
.

To conclude
, the emigration of skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
would
highly
affect the future generation in every aspect which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be tackled
by providing all the facilities to reconsider their decisions.
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IELTS essay An increasing number of professional, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries. What problems does this cause? Solutions?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
293 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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