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An Increasing Number Of Children Are Overweight These Days

An Increasing Number Of Children Are Overweight These Days 7a0yk
Many and more children becoming more obese and suffering from various health issues. the main cause of health obesity is eating alot of junk food and fast food rather than traditional foods. encouraging physical activity and promoting healthy habits can tackle this menace. Fast food is mushrooming all over the world. Now-a-days every child prefers to eat outside because it is addictive. Unfortunately, junk food containing high amount of carbohydrates and calories. it creates a lot of negative impact on childern's health. These days childern are motivated to a sedentary and luxurious lifestyle. They hardly flex a muscle. They sit computers, televisions and mainly on smartphones spending their time. This creates a lot of physical imbalance which leads to obesity. Encouraging children to get physically active by doing always physical work. rather than sitting in home in front smart phones they should go to play out. Gradually they should prefer playing out instead sitting alone in home. parents must assure that their children are eating healthy meal daily. Occasionally having a pizza or burger is fine, no harm done. But having it regularly causes damageparents must monitor and intend their kids to opt any active outdoor sport. Playing or doing any kind of physical work help them gradually to lose its weight. Thus obesity can be controlled or demolished. In conclusion, children are becoming obese due to the consumption of fatty foods. This can be controlled by a regular exercise or any type of physical work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
becoming more obese and suffering from various health issues.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
main cause of health obesity is eating
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
rather
than traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity and promoting healthy habits can tackle this menace.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is mushrooming all over the world.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
-a-days every child prefers to eat outside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is addictive. Unfortunately, junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
containing high amount of carbohydrates and calories.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
Possible spelling mistake found.
childern
's health. These days
Possible spelling mistake found.
childern
are motivated
to a sedentary and luxurious lifestyle. They hardly flex a muscle. They sit computers, televisions and
mainly
on smartphones spending their time. This creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
imbalance which leads to obesity.

Encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
physically
active by doing always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
work.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
rather
than sitting in home in front smart phones they should go to play out.
Gradually
they should prefer playing out
instead
sitting alone in home.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
assure that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are eating healthy meal daily.
Occasionally
having a pizza or burger is fine, no harm done.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
having it
regularly
causes
Possible spelling mistake found.
damageparents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
monitor and intend their kids to opt any active outdoor sport. Playing or doing any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
gradually
to lose its weight.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
obesity can
be controlled
or demolished.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are becoming obese due to the consumption of fatty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. This can
be controlled
by a regular exercise or any type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
work.
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IELTS essay An Increasing Number Of Children Are Overweight These Days

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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