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An average British child watches television for more than 20 hours in a week and indulge in 7 hours of physical activity. What is the situation in your country and what are the causes of it? What are the solution to overcome the same?

An average British child watches television for more than 20 hours in a week and indulge in 7 hours of physical activity. What is the situation in your country and what are the causes of it? What are the solution to overcome the same? pR18L
Certainly, minors are the backbone for a brighter future of any country, but nowadays children spend most of their time watching television say about 21 hours, whereas they devote only 7 hours of the activity which require physical strength. There would be several reasons why does this happen, however, , it has various solutions to it. To, commence with one could say, progenitor are, so busy in their work life in order to earn a better living for their family and themselves, that they start loosing interest in their ward's daily life activities in addition to this, adults like to move away from their family which leads to creation of nuclear family, and increased options for minors on television is one of the aspects for juvenile getting involved in watching T. V. Moreover, parents do not allow their ward to play outside due to increased crime rate. There is a study conducted by U. S scientists, which state that if minors are allowed to play or are involved in physical exercise, then they end up having better analytical skills. Nonetheless, procreator should give their ward a quality lifestyle, but giving them quality time is also important, moreover couples should prefer joint family over nuclear family, as grandparents are the best teacher's for a child's upbringing. In addition to this parent should focus on creating a timetable for their child, that should involve all the activity which is required for overall development of their ward and parent's could buy their ward a pet, which would lead to the physical activity of the scholar. Several causes for children getting involved in watching T. V. Are given above and even solutions to those causes. To conclude, prefer joint family over nuclear family involved with their children, performing playful activities with their wards etc.
Certainly
, minors are the backbone for a brighter future of any country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays children spend most of their time watching television say about 21 hours, whereas they devote
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
7 hours of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
which require physical strength. There would be several reasons why does this happen,
however
,
Two consecutive commas
,
it has various solutions to it.

To, commence with one could say, progenitor are,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy in their work life in order to earn a better living for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and themselves, that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
loosing interest in their ward's daily life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in addition
to this, adults like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
away from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
which leads to creation of nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, and increased options for minors on television is one of the aspects for juvenile getting involved in watching T. V.
Moreover
, parents do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ward
to play outside due to increased crime rate. There is a study conducted by U. S scientists, which state that if minors are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to play or
are involved
in physical exercise, then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up having better analytical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Nonetheless,
Possible spelling mistake found.
procreator
should give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ward
a quality lifestyle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
giving them quality time is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
moreover
couples should prefer joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
over nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, as grandparents are the best teacher's for a child's upbringing.
In addition
to this parent should focus on creating a timetable for their child, that should involve all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
which
is required
for
overall
development of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ward
and parent's could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ward
a pet, which would lead to the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
of the scholar.

Several causes for children getting involved in watching T. V. Are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
above and even solutions to those causes.
To conclude
, prefer joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
over nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
involved with their children, performing playful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
with their wards etc.
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IELTS essay An average British child watches television for more than 20 hours in a week and indulge in 7 hours of physical activity. What is the situation in your country and what are the causes of it? What are the solution to overcome the same?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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