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Although parents are principally responsible for raising their children, there are other outsiders which play key role in development of children. To what extent do yo agree or disagree with the statement. Give you own opinion.

I strongly agree with this statement that, family influence has a huge amount of importance to the development of the children, but there are some other factors like peers, electronic media, neighbors play a very crucial role in the growth of children. First, in families, parents provide instructions on how to behave in the family and socially, however, when children are separated from them, they tend to connect with neighbor friends. And if this transaction continues for a long time, their behavior, pronunciation, manner of speaking, and language will change. They behave according to their neighbor. For this reason, children are more attracted to the neighborhood than to the parents. Moreover, peer groups, electronic media, and social media also largely affect children’s development. Their attitude towards friends forces them to depend on them. Children are physically and mentally engaged in playing, talking, and studying with them. This performance gives them an idea of ​​what is right and what is wrong and also teaches them what to do and what not to do. Therefore, the role of parents becomes negligible due to outsiders. Moreover, nowadays, social media has become the most influential medium for children. They are always attached to it and this takes them to the next level of behavior, etiquette, and respect for others. And this electronic media teaches them personally rather than the advice of colleagues or family members. In conclusion, parents have a great influence on children's attitudes, but in today's world outsiders, friends and social communication play a major role in children's development
I
strongly
agree
with this statement that,
family
influence has a huge amount of importance to the development of the
children
,
but
there are
some
other factors like peers, electronic
media
, neighbors play a
very
crucial role in the growth of children.

First
, in
families
, parents provide instructions on how to behave in the
family
and
socially
,
however
, when
children
are separated
from them, they tend to connect with neighbor friends. And if this transaction continues for a long time, their behavior, pronunciation, manner of speaking, and language will
change
. They behave according to their neighbor.
For this reason
,
children
are more attracted to the neighborhood than to the parents.

Moreover
, peer groups, electronic
media
, and social
media
also
largely
affect
children’s
development. Their attitude towards friends forces them to depend on them.
Children
are
physically
and mentally engaged in playing, talking, and studying with them. This performance gives them an
idea
of ​​what is right and what is
wrong
and
also
teaches them what to do and what not to do.
Therefore
, the role of parents becomes negligible due to outsiders.
Moreover
, nowadays, social
media
has become the most influential medium for
children
. They are always attached to it and this takes them to the
next
level of behavior, etiquette, and respect for others. And this electronic
media
teaches them
personally
rather
than the advice of colleagues or
family
members.

In conclusion
, parents have a great influence on children's attitudes,
but
in
today
's world outsiders, friends and social communication play a major role in children's development
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IELTS essay Although parents are principally responsible for raising their children, there are other outsiders which play key role in development of children. Give you own opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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