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Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Education is a backbone of every country. There is a school of thought considering that the aim of education ought to help people pursue their dreams, yet the other claims that society should take an advantage of education. I agree with the latter one since doing so makes everything work although odds do not work. Being familiar on how to do things properly to achieve a certain result is an integral part of society. I acknowledge that when people are adequately taught relatively on their professions, society functions in a way that everyone gets benefit. In fact, educating individuals to go after things that they want is likely to flourish the lives of millions since they are instructed for finding a better approach to deal with certain problems. For example, if an individual dreaming of becoming an entrepreneur is educated on the basis of entrepreneurship and skills that matter most such as communication and technology, not only do they become fully satisfied with their primary decision and help society through creating new vacancies in their company. Thus, an education system should be based on developing the skills of individuals who contribute to society in the end. Focusing only on individuals’ ambitions to some extend poses a threat to society. In other words, the authentic function of education should therefore be concentrated on the individuals’ role in the society, not on their imaginary goals. People who advocate this view perhaps analyze how society is benefited. That being said, while I concede that education familiarizes people with thing that they do not have an idea of, it can lead people to make the world a better place. For instance, if school and university curriculums interchangeably educate students on the chain of society, those who are studying may take responsibility to take actions on tackling issues ranging from medicine to social life, becoming a strategically planned member of the world and achieving dreams that are real and urgent. In conclusion, educating people to help them chase what they wish can be of great importance since they probably create more workplaces. However, I think that a better way to help people is to show them real-life scenarios and possible solutions to problems in areas of life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is a backbone of every country. There is a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
considering that the aim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
ought to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pursue their dreams,
yet
the other claims that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
should take an advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter one since doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
everything work although odds do not work.

Being familiar on how to do things
properly
to achieve a certain result is an integral part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. I acknowledge that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
adequately
taught
relatively
on their professions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
functions in a way that everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
benefit. In fact, educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to go after things that they want is likely to flourish the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of millions since they
are instructed
for finding a better approach to deal with certain problems.
For example
, if an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
dreaming of becoming an entrepreneur
is educated
on the basis of entrepreneurship and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that matter most such as communication and technology, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do they become
fully
satisfied with their primary decision and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
through creating new vacancies in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Thus
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system should
be based
on developing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

Focusing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals’
ambitions to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
poses a threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
In other words
, the authentic function of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
therefore
be concentrated
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals’
role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, not on their imaginary goals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who advocate this view perhaps analyze how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is benefited
. That
being said
, while I concede that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
familiarizes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with thing that they do not have an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of, it can lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world a better place.
For instance
, if school and university curriculums
interchangeably
educate students on the chain of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, those who are studying may take responsibility to take actions on tackling issues ranging from medicine to social life, becoming a
strategically
planned member of the world and achieving dreams that are real and urgent.

In conclusion
, educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them chase what they wish can be of great importance since they
probably
create more workplaces.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a better way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them real-life scenarios and possible solutions to problems in areas of life.
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IELTS essay Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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