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All adults should do a period of unpaid work in the community. Has it more benefits or drawbacks.

All adults should do a period of unpaid work in the community. Has it more benefits or drawbacks. Mq0Dp
There is an opinion that young ones should perform some cashless service in the community. while it provides life skills to individuals, this essay believes that its demerits are more than its merits as it enhances dependency of a group of people on the volunteers. On the one hand, performing selfless service towards community provides life related skills. This is because, increased meetings with vast number of individuals provide crucial information about problems existing in community. As volunteers involves in that problems, so they try to solve that problem in a unique way which provides them life experience. resulting in increment of creative thinking and problem solving ability. As a result, it provides them essential skills require in future. To examplify, a survey conducted by an European country in 2009 showed that, 70 percent of youth population, who involve in social work, have more life skills. On the other hand, dependency of individuals on volunteers is increased by increasing cashless work of individuals. This is because, when vast number of jobs is performed freely by volunteers, then other individuals became lazy and start avoiding tough jobs. As a result, it increases dependency of locals on social workers. To examplify, a survey conducted by an Indian newspaper in 2015 showed that, 60 percent of countries, which consist of huge percent of social workers, have more dependency of their individuals on them. To conclude, serving nation for free provides essential skills, it consists of negative points more than its positive ones as it introduces more dependence of locals on volunteers.
There is an opinion that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
should perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cashless service in the community.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, this essay believes that its demerits are more than its merits as it enhances dependency of a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on the volunteers.

On the one hand, performing selfless service towards community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, increased meetings with vast number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
crucial information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
existing in community. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
involves in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they try to solve that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
Consider replacing "in a unique way" with the adverb for "unique"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a unique way
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experience.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
resulting
in increment of creative thinking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
solving ability.
As a result
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
them essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
require
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
examplify
, a survey conducted by
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
European country in 2009
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that, 70 percent of youth population, who involve in social work, have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the other hand
, dependency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
is increased
by increasing cashless work of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, when vast number of jobs
is performed
freely
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
, then other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
became lazy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
avoiding tough jobs.
As a result
, it increases dependency of locals on social workers. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
examplify
, a survey conducted by an Indian newspaper in 2015
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that, 60 percent of countries, which consist of huge percent of social workers, have more dependency of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
on them.

To conclude
, serving nation for free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, it consists of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points more than its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
as it introduces more dependence of locals on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
.
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IELTS essay All adults should do a period of unpaid work in the community. Has it more benefits or drawbacks.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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