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Agriculture areas 2 cities ko serious problem in both places what are the serious problems and what measures can be taken to solve this problem.

Agriculture areas 2 cities ko serious problem in both places what are the serious problems and what measures can be taken to solve this problem. xDLLw
Cities is acting like a magnet for people living in rural areas. Nowadays, large number of people are migrating from agricultural sectors to urban areas causing problems in both areas. The first and foremost problem is that this puts a lot of pressure on service of cities like school, banks, cafes, and hospital. Secondly, this also increase the price of lands and house due to increase in number of people. Moreove, the shortage of land develops the slum areas which are very unhygienic and cause severe health issues. What is more, as more and more people are heading towards cities, number of vehicles also increases along with them. Resultingly, congestion as well as traffic also increases. Furthermore, lack of proper drainage system and water shortage also affects the health and environment. On the other hand, this migration also affects countryside areas. In rural area, population is decreasing because of the movement of people towards the towns and thus, this reduces agricultural labourers. In addition to this, it affects the children upbringing of those were moving in the cities. It is impossible to stop urbanization, but one can mitigate these problems. Government can take some steps such as firstly, they should provide employment near rural areas, because the main reason for migration is employment. Also, it should connect ruler and urban areas through effective road networks. Thus, this connectivity can reduce migration. Last but not the least, cities should be well planned considering about the future, this can eradicate the development of slum areas. All in all, . Urbanization is increasing, and is creating several problems. One can get rid from this by adopting some measures.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cities
You should probably use: "are" or "were".
is
acting like a magnet for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Nowadays, large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are migrating from agricultural sectors to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. The
first
and foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that this puts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure on service of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
like school, banks,
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
, and hospital.
Secondly
, this
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the price of lands and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Moreove
, the shortage of land develops the slum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unhygienic and cause severe health issues.
What is more
, as more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are heading towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, number of vehicles
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
along with them.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Resultingly
, congestion
as well
as traffic
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
.
Furthermore
, lack of proper drainage system and water shortage
also
affects the health and environment.
On the other hand
, this migration
also
affects countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. In rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, population is decreasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the movement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards the towns and
thus
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
agricultural
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourers
.
In addition
to this, it affects the children upbringing of those were moving in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. It is impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
urbanization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one can mitigate these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
can take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps such as
firstly
, they should provide employment near rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the main reason for migration is employment.
Also
, it should connect ruler and urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
through effective road networks.
Thus
, this connectivity can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
migration. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
should be well planned
Did you mean simply "considering the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
considering about the
future, this can eradicate the development of slum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. All in all
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Urbanization is increasing, and is creating several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. One can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
The usual collocation for "rid" is "of" not "from". Did you mean "rid of"?
rid from
this by adopting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures.
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IELTS essay Agriculture areas 2 cities ko serious problem in both places what are the serious problems and what measures can be taken to solve this problem.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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