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agricultural extinct fur coat preserve = safeguard conservation captivity poaching illegal rare breeds These days, to preserve the rare breeds from being extinct from human poaching, the government decide to keep them in nature reserves. However, there are no animals happy when they are in captivity. Therefore, the optimal method maybe is to fine heavily who breaks the rules. Although it is not illegal to wear a fur coat, you will risk coming under attack from animal rights activists if you wear it in public. Animal conservation has always been a concern. My hometown is one of the largest agricultural regions in Vietnam, where you can easily observe rice paddies at different periods of the year.

agricultural extinct fur coat preserve = safeguard conservation captivity poaching illegal rare breeds These days, to preserve the rare breeds from being extinct from human poaching, the government decide to keep them in nature reserves. However, there are no animals happy when they are in captivity. Therefore, the optimal method maybe is to fine heavily who breaks the rules. Although it is not illegal to wear a fur coat, you will risk coming under attack from animal rights activists if you wear it in public. Animal conservation has always been a concern. My hometown is one of the largest agricultural regions in Vietnam, where you can easily observe rice paddies at different periods of the year. ENgxB
These days, to preserve the rare breeds from being extinct from human poaching, the government decide to keep them in nature reserves. However, there are no animals happy when they are in captivity. Therefore, the optimal method maybe is to fine heavily who breaks the rules. Although it is not illegal to wear a fur coat, you will risk coming under attack from animal rights activists if you wear it in public. Animal conservation has always been a concern. My hometown is one of the largest agricultural regions in Vietnam, where you can easily observe rice paddies at different periods of the year.
These days, to preserve the rare breeds from being extinct from human poaching, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them in nature reserves.
However
, there are no animals happy when they are in captivity.
Therefore
, the optimal method maybe is to fine
heavily
who breaks the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

Although it is not illegal to wear a fur coat, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
coming under attack from animal rights activists if you wear it in public. Animal conservation has always been a concern.

My hometown is one of the largest agricultural regions in Vietnam, where you can
easily
observe rice paddies at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
periods of the year.

IELTS essay agricultural extinct fur coat preserve = safeguard conservation captivity poaching illegal rare breeds These days, to preserve the rare breeds from being extinct from human poaching, the government decide to keep them in nature reserves. However, there are no animals happy when they are in captivity. Therefore, the optimal method maybe is to fine heavily who breaks the rules. Although it is not illegal to wear a fur coat, you will risk coming under attack from animal rights activists if you wear it in public. Animal conservation has always been a concern. My hometown is one of the largest agricultural regions in Vietnam, where you can easily observe rice paddies at different periods of the year.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
103 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • agricultural extinct fur coat preserve = safeguard conservation captivity poaching illegal rare breeds These days, to preserve the rare breeds from being extinct from human poaching, the government decide to keep them in nature reserves. However, there are no animals happy when they are in captivity. Therefore, the optimal method maybe is to fine heavily who breaks the rules. Although it is not illegal to wear a fur coat, you will risk coming under attack from animal rights activists if you wear it in public. Animal conservation has always been a concern. My hometown is one of the largest agricultural regions in Vietnam, where you can easily observe rice paddies at different periods of the year.