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mow a days obesity is very common in our societies

mow a days obesity is very common in our societies aALRd
obesity is raising problem in the world today. people of all age group from kids to adults are facing the problem of over weigh. In this essay I am going to discuss the main problems of obesity and some possible solutions to control this awful disease. one of the main cause of being over weight is consumption of junk food like, hamburgers, fried items, sweet and fizzy drinks. convenience food is quiet unhealthy which is enrich in fat and sugar and very little amount of dietary fiber. As a result of this unhealthy meals our kids and adults are facing complications of obesity which leads to heart diseases and diabetes. this obesity pandemic can be controlled by higher authorities by applying extra taxes on junk and canned food and also provide healthy food in lower prices. Second reason of being over weight is physical inactivity. long sitting in schools and offices make us sedentary. Now a days pupil did not take interest in sports and show no interest in extracurricular activities as a result of this immobility we gain a lot of weight. This issue can be over come by little efforts, if educational institutions, public and private sectors organize sports weeks once in a month for there employers. These type of events make them mentally and physically active. obesity is also be caused by genetic disorders or it can be genetically running in your family. As it is a genetic disorder and it can only be cure by your effort and commitment to your health. By following proper diet plans and consumption of natural food one can overcome this mess. to sum up, obesity is vert awful disease which is spreading in our societies day by day. not only adults, kids are also suffering from this problem. junk food, physical inactivity and genetic disorder are the main causes of this disease. my take on this is everybody should take care of your health and diet because only once you got this precious life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
obesity
is raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
of all age group from kids to adults are facing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
weigh. In this essay I am going to discuss the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of obesity and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions to control this awful disease.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
of the main cause of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
weight is consumption of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
like, hamburgers, fried items, sweet and fizzy drinks.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
Did you mean "quite"? 'quiet' means 'silent', 'quite' mean 'very' or 'to a moderate extent'
quiet
unhealthy which is
Consider using a past participle here: "enriched".
enrich
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and sugar and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
amount of dietary fiber.
As a result
of this unhealthy meals our kids and adults are facing complications of obesity which leads to heart diseases and diabetes.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
obesity pandemic can
be controlled
by higher authorities by applying extra taxes on junk and canned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
also
provide healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in lower prices. Second reason of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
weight is physical inactivity.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
long
sitting in schools and offices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us sedentary.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
pupil did not take interest in sports and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
no interest in extracurricular activities
as a result
of this immobility we gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
weight. This issue can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
efforts, if educational institutions, public and private sectors organize sports weeks once in a month for
Did you mean "their"?
there
employers. These type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them mentally and
physically
active.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
obesity
is
also
be caused
by genetic disorders or it can be
genetically
running in your family. As it is a genetic disorder and it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
Consider using a past participle here: "cured".
cure
by your effort and commitment to your health. By following proper diet plans and consumption of natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
one can overcome this mess.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
sum up, obesity is vert awful disease which is spreading in our societies day by day.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
adults, kids are
also
suffering from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, physical inactivity and genetic disorder are the main causes of this disease.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
my
take on this is everybody should take care of your health and diet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
once you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
this precious life.
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IELTS essay mow a days obesity is very common in our societies

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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