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Agree or disagree: The numbers of people who are shopping online has been growing.

Agree or disagree: The numbers of people who are shopping online has been growing. BJLBj
I agree on the fact that the number of online consumers is growing due to the efficiency of the service. Here are the relevant reasons. Shopping online saves a lot of the customer's money. Since the buyer purchases products online, he has no need of spending money on transportation to go to a specific place to buy things. Purchasing via internet does not require a lot of the customer's time. Going directly to a shopping mall and waiting in lines necessitates a great amount of the buyer's time. In conlcusion I say that shopping online is more efficient that buying directly, because it does not ‘steal’ lots of resources from the customers.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on the fact that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
consumers is growing due to the efficiency of the service. Here are the relevant reasons.

Shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
the customer's money. Since the buyer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, he has no need of spending money on transportation to go to a specific place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things.

Purchasing via internet does not require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
the customer's time. Going
directly
to a shopping mall and waiting in lines necessitates a great amount of the buyer's time.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
conlcusion
I say that shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is more efficient that buying
directly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it does not ‘steal’ lots of resources from the customers.
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IELTS essay Agree or disagree: The numbers of people who are shopping online has been growing.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
112 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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