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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? After high school students ahould have at least one year to work or travel. It is better that attending university straight away.

After high school students ahould have at least one year to work or travel. It is better that attending university straight away. QLMoL
During an education and especially in a high school there would be so many issues that affect students severely. After high school there would a few time maybe one or a couple of weeks to travel for students' relaxing. But that should not last a long. First of all, the education is a process which done with students and their teachers, also that sometimes would be between children and their parents. And, that lasts a short and easy, in contrast if it lasts the long there would be much efforts which impact owners negatively. For that, communities of the education or the families of children have to concentrate their members' productivities highly and fiercely. Also, there are so many ways including providing free time, giving more homework, etc. to build students up positively or effectively. Some parts of these ways use all over the world, but a few parts of them such as offering more free time used in a less countries such like a big and modern countries. And, that way which relax the students always influence their student mental health well. In contrast, if the students be in more free time there would be more failures than the other approaches. In addition, in some countries, there are the way which use everyday homework that used by teachers. In that technique causes more stresses than the easy one. And, in some countries, there would be some jobs options which students work in their educations times, after the high school and before a university. Because, that work method increase their workers abilities up to the top, in these methods jobs there are a similar titles which about students education. In conclusion, taking account of all above reasons and examples, I definitely do not agree both statements. All university Students neither travel nor work after the high school, they should travel a little before their starting time to university, and they should work in their education time.
During an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
especially
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
there would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues that affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
severely
. After
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
there would a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
maybe one or a couple of weeks to travel for students' relaxing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
that should not last a long.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a process which done with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and their teachers,
also
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
would be between children and their parents. And, that lasts a short and easy,
in contrast
if it lasts the long there would be
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
efforts which impact owners
negatively
. For that, communities of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
or the families of children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
concentrate their members'
Possible spelling mistake found.
productivities
highly
and
fiercely
.

Also
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
including providing free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, giving more homework, etc. to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
up
positively
or
effectively
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parts of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
all over the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few parts of them such as offering more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in a
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun countries is countable.
less
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "country"?
countries
such like a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
and modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. And, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
which relax the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
always influence their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
mental health well.
In contrast
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
be in more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
there would be more failures than the other approaches.

In addition
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, there are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
everyday homework that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by teachers.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
that technique causes more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
than the easy one. And, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, there would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs options which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a university.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
method increase their workers abilities up to the top, in these methods jobs there are a similar
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "title"?
titles
which about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
education.

In conclusion
, taking account of all above reasons and examples, I definitely do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
both statements. All university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
neither travel nor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they should travel a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
their starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to university, and they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay After high school students ahould have at least one year to work or travel. It is better that attending university straight away.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
326 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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