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Do you think playing game could bring more harms and benefies

Do you think playing game could bring more harms and benefies VB0xw
It is true that playing video games has become one of the most popular ways for billions of individuals to entertain in their leisure time. However, whether it brings about more advantages or disadvantages remains a debatable issue, and this essay serves to give insight into the situation and provides my personal perspective. One the one hand, there are a certain number of reasons why many people hold the belief that video games could lead to great benefits. Firstly, it is scientifically proved that the micro-achievement getting from passing games’ level could result in an increase of dopamine, which is the crucial hormone to the feeling of happiness and satisfaction. As the result, it helps players to be more relaxed, thus boosting their work and education outcomes. Secondly, advocates of this idea often claim that video games could act as an effective tool of education in a wide variety of area. For example, in recent times, the myriad games include detail and correct information in history, culture or geography. By immersing themselves in games’ environment, the player can absorb knowledge spontaneously, comparing to the traditional method of reading textbook. On the other hand, some people are of the opinion that playing game could also expert detrimental impacts for numerous causes. Diving into games is destroyed the people’s physical health. To be more specific, looking at a computer’s screen continuously in long time caused to optical problems such as shortsightedness or dry eyes’ illness. Furthermore, the more time users spend on computers, the more mental risks they suffer from. For instance, there are many videos that contain violent and adultery content to attract young customers, which might be harmed to the youth’s thinking and behaviour. In conclusion, it is clear that playing games bring both merits and drawbacks. Nevertheless, I am convinced that the benefits outweigh its demerits; as games allow players to recharge their batteries and enrich their knowledge efficiently in different fields of life.
It is true that playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
has become one of the most popular ways for billions of individuals to entertain in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
However
, whether it brings about more advantages or disadvantages remains a debatable issue, and this essay serves to give insight into the situation and provides my personal perspective.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand, there are a certain number of reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
could lead to great benefits.
Firstly
, it is
scientifically
proved that the micro-achievement getting from passing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games’
level could result in an increase of dopamine, which is the crucial hormone to the feeling of happiness and satisfaction. As the result, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
players to be more relaxed,
thus
boosting their work and education outcomes.
Secondly
, advocates of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
could act as an effective tool of education in a wide variety of area.
For example
, in recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, the myriad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
include detail and correct information in history, culture or geography. By immersing themselves in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games’
environment, the player can absorb knowledge
spontaneously
, comparing to the traditional method of reading textbook.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that playing game could
also
expert detrimental impacts for numerous causes. Diving into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s physical health. To be more specific, looking at a computer’s screen
continuously
in long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
caused to optical problems such as shortsightedness or dry eyes’ illness.
Furthermore
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
users spend on computers, the more mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
they suffer from.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
that contain violent and adultery content to attract young customers, which might
be harmed
to the youth’s thinking and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
bring both merits and drawbacks.
Nevertheless
, I
am convinced
that the benefits outweigh its demerits; as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
players to recharge their batteries and enrich their knowledge
efficiently
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields of life.

IELTS essay Do you think playing game could bring more harms and benefies

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
8.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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