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After graduating from high school, many young people choose to go straight to work. What is your opinion about this matter? Use your opinion to support your argument.

After graduating from high school, many young people choose to go straight to work. What is your opinion about this matter? Use your opinion to support your argument. jDrY8
It is becoming more common for young people to plan on taking a paid job after graduating from high school. This inclination offers numerous advantages, but it also has a number of major drawbacks. This topic will be thoroughly discussed in this paper. To begin with, this extent has many merits. Teenagers can make use of these advantages to better themselves. Going straight to work can help them earn money instead of spending it. They will be able to remain living for free with their parents if they spend one or two years off to go to work and save money. Furthermore, working allows young people to achieve independence. It is an ideal way to learn how to manage it wisely. It is the first path to independence especially when they live on their own. Working can supply teenagers the opportunities to try out different fields and they will also learn how to please their boss and work well with their colleagues. Through working, teenagers can also find suitable jobs to earn money. On the other hand, getting a job after graduation has its drawbacks. young people are not mature enough both physically and psychologically to confront hazards and exploitation. They might be deceived into doing illegal jobs like selling drugs, smuggling goods, and so forth. Moreover. Because of being too young and inexperienced, they only can get low-paid jobs. They have to work hard to make a living. This can lead to stress and they will lose motivation to continue working. In addition, young adults may end up never returning to their studies or finding it difficult to re-adapt to an academic environment. They may think that it is better to continue in a particular job or to do something completely from a university course. This is not an ideal way because qualifications are essential for getting a career. In conclusion, going straight to work has both pros and cons. However, young people should choose their way which depends on their abilities and finance.
It is becoming more common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to plan on taking a paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after graduating from high school. This inclination offers numerous advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has a number of major drawbacks. This topic will be
thoroughly
discussed in this paper.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, this extent has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
merits.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these advantages to better themselves. Going straight to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them earn money
instead
of spending it. They will be able to remain living for free with their parents if they spend one or two years off to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and save money.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to achieve independence. It is an ideal way to learn how to manage it
wisely
. It is the
first
path to independence
especially
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
can supply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
the opportunities to try out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fields and
they will
also
learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
their boss and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
well with their colleagues. Through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can
also
find suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to earn money.

On the other hand
, getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after graduation has its drawbacks.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
both
physically
and
psychologically
to confront hazards and exploitation. They might
be deceived
into doing illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
like selling drugs, smuggling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth.
Moreover
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of being too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and inexperienced, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
low-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living. This can lead to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
stress and
they will lose motivation to continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up never returning to their studies or finding it difficult to re-adapt to an academic environment. They may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is better to continue in a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or to do something completely from a university course. This is not an ideal way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
qualifications are essential for getting a career.

In conclusion
, going straight to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
has both pros and cons.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should choose their way which depends on their abilities and finance.
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IELTS essay After graduating from high school, many young people choose to go straight to work. What is your opinion about this matter? Use your opinion to support your argument.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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