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After finishing school, some students go travelling or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do you think the advantages of gap years outweigh the disadvantages?

After finishing school, some students go travelling or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do you think the advantages of gap years outweigh the disadvantages? l0ao
It is believed that some students instead of enrolling at the university, they tend to travel or work for a period of time after graduating high school. While there may be some advantages of this tendency, I believe that the advantages of that pale into insignificance compared with drawbacks. On the one hand, this tendency is likely to be advantageous in terms of making students mature while they are making critical decisions. To clarify, since some students are uncertain about the field of study that they are willing to study during their high school ages, it is advantageous for them to travel and work in order to observe their surroundings. Accordingly, working and traveling from their early ages can also make them to be financially independent person. However, there is no guarantee that they will spend this amount wisely, since still they are not enough well-educated. In my opinion, the negative sides of this trend clearly outweigh positive ones. One of the major disadvantages is that when students acquire money from their early ages, they will be satisfied with their income and become to deviate from applying for the university. Another main drawback of that is that when students travel and work for a period of time, they will forget basic concepts that they have learnt them during the school times which will cause their applications for the university not to be approved. Therefore, it is essential for students initially to get education and then work. In conclusion, even though travelling and finding a job may make students mature, this advantage is clearly overshadowed by two major disadvantages: deviating from applying for the university and forgetting basic knowledge obtained during the high school times.
It
is believed
that
some
students
instead
of enrolling at the
university
, they tend to travel or work for a period of
time
after
graduating
high
school
. While there may be
some
advantages of this tendency, I believe that the advantages of that pale into insignificance compared with drawbacks.

On the one hand, this tendency is likely to be advantageous in terms of making
students
mature while they are making critical decisions. To clarify, since
some
students
are uncertain about the field of study that they are willing to study during their high
school
ages, it is advantageous for them to travel and work in order to observe their surroundings.
Accordingly
, working and traveling from their early ages can
also
make
them to be
financially
independent person.
However
, there is no guarantee that they will spend this amount
wisely
, since
still
they are not
enough
well-educated.

In my opinion, the
negative
sides of this trend
clearly
outweigh
positive
ones. One of the major disadvantages is that when
students
acquire money from their early ages, they will
be satisfied
with their income and become to deviate from applying for the
university
. Another main drawback of
that is
that when
students
travel and work for a period of
time
, they will forget basic concepts that they have
learnt
them during the
school
times
which will cause their applications for the
university
not to
be approved
.
Therefore
, it is essential for
students
initially
to
get
education and then work.

In conclusion
,
even though
travelling and finding a job may
make
students
mature, this advantage is
clearly
overshadowed by two major disadvantages: deviating from applying for the
university
and forgetting basic knowledge obtained during the high
school
times
.
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IELTS essay After finishing school, some students go travelling or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do you think the advantages of gap years outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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