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After finishing highschool, many teenagers confront the dilemma of whether to pursue higher education or seek a job.

After finishing highschool, many teenagers confront the dilemma of whether to pursue higher education or seek a job. Nl9Qy
After finishing highschool, many teenagers confront the dilemma of whether to pursue higher education or seek a job. While there are some benefits to getting a job immediately after school; achieving a tertiary education degree can bring a successful career. In this essay, I will discuss both views of the statement. On the one hand, there are some attractive reasons to start work straight after school. Instead of relying on parents, many young people desire to earn money and create their own source of income as soon as possible. In this way, they can become independent, for instance, they will be able to afford to buy a car, house, and property. Moreover, youngsters who seek a job first, rather than proceed to studies, may have a chance to gain real experiences, widen horizons and learn practical skills related to their chosen professional areas which can lead them to successful careers. On the other hand, the option to enroll in university and gain higher education can be more beneficial for young people in this competitive contemporary era. Proper higher level education hones the qualifications and opens the door for better job places. First, certain professions such as doctor, engineer, scientist, and lawyer, which are required academic qualifications. They can only be obtained in University or higher educational institutions. Without having relevant education degrees from university, these skills can not be mastered. Second, many companies and government departments are more likely to hire qualified professionals and they tend to earn higher salaries. Nowadays, even for one vacant position, there may be hundreds of applications. Thus, unless young people who obtained certain qualifications from university or college will not be able to compete in the job arena. To conclude, weighing both views, it is apparent to me that young people are more likely to have successful careers if they continue their higher studies after school; despite getting a job after school seems to progress more quickly.
After finishing
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highschool
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
confront the dilemma of whether to pursue higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
or seek a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
immediately after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
; achieving a tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
degree can bring a successful career. In this essay, I will discuss both views of the statement.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
attractive reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
work straight after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Instead
of relying on parents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
desire to earn money and create their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
source of income as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. In this way, they can become independent,
for instance
, they will be able to afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a car,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, and property.
Moreover
, youngsters who seek a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
first
,
rather
than proceed to studies, may have a chance to gain real experiences, widen horizons and learn practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
related to their chosen professional areas which can lead them to successful careers.

On the other hand
, the option to enroll in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and gain higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can be more beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this competitive contemporary era. Proper higher level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
hones the qualifications and opens the door for better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
places.
First
, certain professions such as doctor, engineer, scientist, and lawyer, which
are required
academic qualifications. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be obtained
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
or higher educational institutions. Without having relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
degrees from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
can not
be mastered
. Second,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
departments are more likely to hire qualified
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
professionals and
they tend to earn higher salaries. Nowadays, even for one vacant position, there may be hundreds of applications.
Thus
, unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who obtained certain qualifications from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or college will not be able to compete in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
arena.

To conclude
, weighing both views, it is apparent to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to have successful careers if they continue their higher studies after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
; despite getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
seems to progress more
quickly
.
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IELTS essay After finishing highschool, many teenagers confront the dilemma of whether to pursue higher education or seek a job.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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