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after entering schools children teachers have more influence than their parents

after entering schools children teachers have more influence than their parents pR8GD
The 21st century is a time full of various opportunities. Nowadays, adolescents can have better education and study in more comfortable places. But, after entering schools children teachers have more influence than their parents. I do not fully agree with this statement, in this essay I will explain my point of view and will give some shreds of evidence. In order to get good marks or become successful, teenagers listen more to teachers. This fact is contributed to educators' achievements in a certain science. From year to year, the number of graduates who reach success grows in the USA because their department of education is great and very frequently it is affiliated with the knowledge that they get from teachers. Also, very frequently, educators become second parents, they devote their time to students. Furthermore, the same applies to Finland where are education and teachers a mainstream and have a tremendous impact on country life. For instance, educators pay huge attention to the right mindset, they constantly inspire their pupils and help individuals to become prosperous. To emphasize the statement, in the book “go there, where is complicated” which was written by Tae is mentioned: “If you become a teacher, you understand the mistake of your students, help them and wish the best”. After reading this book the majority started to understand the important role of teachers. Meanwhile, scientists have revealed that educators' impact on students is significant and sometimes they even give more right advices than their parents. Taking into consideration all the facts given above one can say that parents should not have to be afraid for their children when they enter school because pedagogues will always care and help pupils to attain great heights.
The 21st century is a time full of various opportunities. Nowadays, adolescents can have better education and study in more comfortable places.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, after entering schools children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have more influence than their parents. I do not
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement, in this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my point of view and will give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
shreds of evidence.

In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
marks or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
successful,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
listen more to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. This fact
is contributed
to educators' achievements in a certain science. From year to year, the number of graduates who reach success grows in the USA
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their department of education is great and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
frequently
it
is affiliated
with the knowledge that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
frequently
, educators
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
second parents, they devote their time to students.
Furthermore
, the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
Finland where are education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
a mainstream and have a tremendous impact on country life.
For instance
, educators pay huge attention to the right mindset, they
constantly
inspire their pupils and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individuals to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
prosperous.

To emphasize the statement, in the book “go there, where
is complicated
” which
was written
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tae
is mentioned
: “If you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
, you understand the mistake of your students,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them and wish the best”.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
reading this book the majority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to understand the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. Meanwhile, scientists have revealed that educators' impact on students is significant and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they even give more right advices than their parents.

Taking into consideration all the facts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
above one can say that parents should not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be afraid for their children when they enter school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
pedagogues will always care and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
pupils to attain great heights.
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IELTS essay after entering schools children teachers have more influence than their parents

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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