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Advertising makes us waste money unnecessary things.

Advertising makes us waste money unnecessary things. Dn1W
Many adverts make us spend a lot of money to needless things. Nowadays, most people waste their money in the pocket and it will hurt their finances. There some crucial drawbacks of waste money and time to unnecessary things. Firstly, people often buy things only because of the image of power, success and glamour associated with them. Secondly, children are easily influenced by commercials and then pester their parents to buy certain products. Finally, the ultimate aim of advertising is to subtly persuade people to buy things. Every advertiser use this way and people are bought these things by advertiser. On the other hand, spending money for advertisement has positive sides. Initially, catalogues and brochures enable people to compare products and services at leisure. In addition, if you do not have time to shop around, you can rely on advertising to learn about new products. If you need information about new products, you have to trust advertising. Although, advertisements inform consumers about the environmental impact of products. Adverts give information about the environmental influence of products. In conclusion, I think people should not spend their money to needless things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
adverts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to needless things. Nowadays, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in the pocket and it will hurt their finances. There
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crucial drawbacks of waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and time to unnecessary things.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the image of power, success and glamour associated with them.
Secondly
, children are
easily
influenced by commercials and then pester their parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Finally
, the ultimate aim of advertising is to
subtly
persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things. Every advertiser
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "uses".
use
this way and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
these things by advertiser.
On the other hand
, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for advertisement has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides.
Initially
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'catalogues' is British English.
catalogues
and brochures enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to compare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services at leisure.
In addition
, if you do not have time to shop around, you can rely on advertising to learn about new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. If you need information about new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
trust advertising.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, advertisements inform consumers about the environmental impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Adverts give information about the environmental influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to needless things.
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IELTS essay Advertising makes us waste money unnecessary things.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
189 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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