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Advertising has positive aspects in economy and negative social aspects in making people dissatisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Advertising has positive aspects in economy and negative social aspects in making people dissatisfied with who they are and what they have. 3MXMw
Advertising is a key part of modern business which has its advantages and disadvantages. Some people believe that advertising can result in economic growth; others argue it can bring social unfulfillment. I suppose both mindsets are correct. One of the positive aspects of advertising lies in the economy. Firstly, advertising can help companies to introduce their products in a fascinating way which nudge people to buy them. This, results in companies' sailing rate rise and may give companies a chance to develop their businesses. Launching new production lines or new companies’ branches not only requires hiring more laborers which reduce the unemployment rate in a society, but also can provide an opportunity to export goods overseas. Secondly, since companies are taxpayers, the more they develop, the more government can earn money. Thus, advertisements can lead to economic growth by increasing the employment and export rate and enriching the government's revenue. On the other hand, advertisements' negative points are undeniable. Advertisements can manipulate people. They aim to persuade people what they have is not enough, and they would be happier if they purchased a new product. For example, every year people can be seen queuing to buy the latest models of mobile phones, while their available mobiles are viable and do not need to be replaced; perhaps it is the influence of marketing. Moreover, advertisements are focus on a brand image. They mostly use glamorous people to draw individual’s attention. So, as advertisements surround us, by constantly seeing these charming characters, people start to compare themselves with them ending up losing their self-confidence. Hence, the socially damaging effects of advertising can be seen in turning people to the compulsive buyers and lowering their self-assurance. To sum up, although advertising can prosper businesses and the economy, it can tempt people to buy unnecessary things and destroy their self-esteem. So, it is a double-edged sword, and I agree with both views.
Advertising is a key part of modern business which has its advantages and disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that advertising can result in economic growth; others argue it can bring social
Possible spelling mistake found.
unfulfillment
. I suppose both mindsets are correct.

One of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of advertising lies in the economy.
Firstly
, advertising can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to introduce their products
Consider replacing "in a fascinating way" with the adverb for "fascinating"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a fascinating way
which nudge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them. This, results in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
' sailing rate rise and may give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
a chance to develop their businesses. Launching new production lines or new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies’
branches not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
requires hiring more laborers which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the unemployment rate in a society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can provide an opportunity to export
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
overseas.
Secondly
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are taxpayers, the more they develop, the more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can earn money.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can lead to economic growth by increasing the employment and export rate and enriching the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's revenue.

On the other hand
, advertisements'
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points are undeniable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
can manipulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They aim to persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
what they have is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, and they would be happier if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
a new product.
For example
, every year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
queuing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the latest models of mobile phones, while their available mobiles are viable and do not need to
be replaced
; perhaps it is the influence of marketing.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are focus on a brand image. They
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
glamorous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to draw individual’s attention.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
surround us, by
constantly
seeing these charming characters,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to compare themselves with them ending up losing their self-confidence.
Hence
, the
socially
damaging effects of advertising can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in turning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to the compulsive buyers and lowering their self-assurance.

To sum up, although advertising can prosper businesses and the economy, it can tempt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
their self-esteem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is a double-edged sword, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with both views.
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IELTS essay Advertising has positive aspects in economy and negative social aspects in making people dissatisfied with who they are and what they have.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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