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Advertisements influence us in a negative way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Advertisements influence us in a negative way. QMmR3
It is widely believed that adverts are influencing people in the wrong manner. I agree with this statement because we are motivated to purchase items that are not needed and these adverts make a perception in people's minds that if we buy those products, everything will be good. Firstly, the main purpose of the advertisement is to convince the target population to buy the products by mentioning their features or kinds of it. And sometimes those products are more likely to be of poor quality. This means that advertisements are also often misleading. For example, advertisements create a mindset of women that companies advertise new detergents, show their quality, and attract more customers when the price is low. But later it turns out that this washing powder is of poor quality Secondly, low-quality products can be promoted as good products by advertisements. When companies use big cinema stars and models in their advertisements, people tend to buy those products as they see them as role models. For example, when any celebrity advertises an energy drink, people start to think that it's not a harmless thing, if it were harmful, that celebrity wouldn't advertise it. But then a heart problem develops. I forgot to mention that, some advertisements bother people. For example, the advertisements that appear while watching movies and these advertisements are mostly betting and taxi advertisements. When this is too much, people get annoyed. In conclusion, advertisements are putting a bad impression on people's mind because it persuades people to buy things that do not require. Furthermore, these advertisements disturb people. I think the government should take action and do what is necessary
It is
widely
believed that adverts are influencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
manner. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
are motivated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
items that are not needed and these adverts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a perception in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's minds that if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, everything will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

Firstly
, the main purpose of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is to convince the target population to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by mentioning their features or kinds of it. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are more likely to be of poor quality. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
misleading.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
create a mindset of women that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
advertise new detergents,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their quality, and attract more customers when the price is low.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
later it turns out that this washing powder is of poor
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
quality


Secondly
, low-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can
be promoted
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cinema stars and models in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them as role models.
For example
, when any celebrity advertises an energy drink,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it's not a harmless thing, if it were harmful, that celebrity wouldn't advertise it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
then a heart problem develops. I forgot to mention that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
bother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
that appear while watching movies and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
mostly
betting and taxi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. When this is too much,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
annoyed.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are putting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impression on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it persuades
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things that do not require.
Furthermore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
disturb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take action and do what is
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
necessary
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IELTS essay Advertisements influence us in a negative way.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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