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Some parents prefer to smacking do you agree or not

Some parents prefer to smacking do you agree or not 3gEg5
It is thought that hitting children is positive way to modify children behaviour, while some individuals are consider that affect on children behaviour. I don't advocate totally to smacking children to make them behave well. In this essay I'm going to examine both viewpoints and I will support my opinion. On the one hand, It is believed that parents are tend to strick their kids due to their misbehavior. The main reason behind that is kids most of time practice unacceptable action so that may make parents loss their control, so they slap them to reluctant the bad habit. Moreover the youngests who are used to hited by their families usually more watch out. in addition some cases claims that parents be an observer to enable children to know the right way. For example that at the first age infants may misconduct bad thing by repeat it frequently, so the guidance automatically hit them. Also as it notice the personality of some babies are stubborn, however they just assist to practice inconvenient action. They believe that fathers will never do any thing against them. Agood illustration that the last study had conducted in the largest universities obvious that the vast majority of children have never learn unless they are expose to mack. In the other hand, some viewers argue that the bad treatment which come from families and they treat with their kids harshly may lead to negative consequences. first the extravagant of threat children by smack them in their faces or any other part of the body may cause some mental health like losing concentration, loss self confidence. Futhermore children who are always expose to horrible treatment as slap them are always become unsocialized in good manner. In addition they prefer to stay alone, therefore that can be lead them to be depressed. Also increasing gave child a fierce dealing contribute to create boys without confidence. boys become lack self relies can not express about their ideas easily. They find them that just most of their time hesitate to deal with others. Appropriate example here, the recent case study which conducted in various universities around the world prove that the most kids suffer from a lot health problem were as result of having bad relationship. I, personally disagree with the hitting innocent kids for many reason because it may affect on children behaviour. In conclusion, Despite some individuals point that the smacking may contribute to make children do their duties properly, while others point that may cause a lot problem.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that hitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a positive".
positive
way to modify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals are
Consider using a past participle here: "considered".
consider
that
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. I don't advocate
totally
to smacking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them behave well. In this essay I'm going to examine both viewpoints and I will support my opinion.

On the one hand, It
is believed
that parents are
Consider using a past participle here: "tended".
tend
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
strick
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
due to their misbehavior. The main reason behind
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
Consider using "most time" or "most of the time".
most of time
practice unacceptable action
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
parents loss their control,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they slap them to reluctant the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
habit.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngests
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "hit", the past tense form of the verb 'hit'?
hited
by their families
usually
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
out.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases claims that parents be an observer to enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to know the right way.
For example
that at the
first
age infants may misconduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
thing by repeat it
frequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the guidance
automatically
hit them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
as it notice the personality of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
babies are stubborn,
however
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
assist to practice inconvenient action. They believe that fathers will never do
Did you mean "anything"?
any thing
against them.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Agood
illustration that the last study had conducted in the largest universities obvious that the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have never
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "learned", "learnt".
learn
unless they are
Consider using a past participle here: "exposed".
expose
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
mack
.

In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
viewers argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
treatment which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
families and
they treat with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
harshly
may lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
first
The phrase 'the extravagant of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the extravagant of
threat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by smack them in their faces or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
part of the body may cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mental health like losing concentration, loss
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are always
Consider using a past participle here: "exposed".
expose
to horrible treatment as slap them are always become unsocialized in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manner. In
The comma is probably missing here: "addition, they".
addition they
prefer to stay alone,
therefore
that can be lead them to
be depressed
.
Also
increasing gave child a fierce dealing contribute to create boys without confidence.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
boys
become lack self
The verb 'to rely' requires the preposition '(up)on': "relies on".
relies
can not express about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
easily
. They find them that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
most of their time hesitate to deal with others. Appropriate example here, the recent case study which conducted in various universities around the world prove that the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
suffer from
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of health"?
a lot health
problem were as result of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
relationship.

I,
personally
disagree with the hitting innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
for
Possible agreement error. The noun reason seems to be countable; consider using: "many reasons".
many reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

In conclusion
, Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals point that the smacking may contribute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do their duties
properly
, while others point that may cause a lot problem.
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IELTS essay Some parents prefer to smacking do you agree or not

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
421 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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